你有没有玩过别人的笑话英语写作

1. 简单的英语笑话

人之初：At the begining of life.
性本善：Sex is good.
性相近：Basically,all the sex are same.
习相远：But it depends on how the way you do it.
苟不教：If you do not practise all the time.
性乃迁：Sex will leave you..

教之道：The way of learning it
贵以专：is very important to make love with only one person.

昔孟母：Once a great mother, Mrs Meng
择邻处：chose her neighbour to avoid bad sex influence.

子不学：If you don't study hard,
断机杼：Your Dick will become useless.

窦燕山 Dou, the Famous
有义方 owned a very effective exciting medicine
教五子 All his five son took it
名俱扬 and their sexual ability were well-kown.

养不教 If your children don't know how to do it,
父之过 It is all your fault.
教不严 If they had lots of problems with it,
师之惰 their teach must be too lazy to tell them details on sex.

子不学 You may refuse to study this
非所宜 but that is a real mistake
幼不学 If you don't learn it in childhood,
老何为 you will lose your ability when aged

玉不琢 If you don't exercise your dick,
不成器 It won't become hard and strong.
人不学 If you don't learn sex,
不知义 You can by no means enjoy its sweetness

2. 关于幽默笑话的一片英语作文

Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

3. 英语作文笑话

Playing Jokes Promotes Communication
As a child, we have many friends, we like to play jokes with our friends, sometimes it can promote communication. Like when we are playing game,may be hitting others by incident, at this moment, the way we deal with it is very important. A joke can fix it, it makes us laugh and notice we do this not on purpose. Making jokes reconcile argument.

4. 简单的英语小笑话(带翻译）

1、Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。  

2、Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？ 女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。 

3、My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!  Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 

我的狗不识字。布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

4、My Wife Will Exchange Them。A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.   ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.  ″Makes no difference ″replied customer.   ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.  ″Any″ he responded. 

″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″ 

反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。 “没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。 “那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。 “号码呢？” “您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。” 

5、A  physics Examination，Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.  The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?   

Nick‘s answer: Because  our eyes are before ears.   

一次物理考试。在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。  

6、Jim’s History Examination。Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him  things that happened before the poor boy was born.   

吉姆的历史考试。舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。 

7、he is really somebody。-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.   

他真是一个大人物。-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。

(4)你有没有玩过别人的笑话英语写作扩展阅读：

笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。

人类历史上，人自从有了语言，就已经出现了开玩笑的语言，最早，人们以口相传，后来有了文字，许多笑话便被记载下来，编书成册。但还有很多笑话，是流传于民间的，就当今社会，每天都有很多笑话出现，有心人如果收集，我想将来一定会有价值。

同时丰富了笑话的宝库。随着近十年网络和手机的飞速发展，随之出现了网络笑话，网络流行语，给力大全，手机笑话，雷人语句，笑料联盟等，促使笑话发展到一个新的阶段。

5. 求几篇80个单词左右的英语短文/小故事/幽默笑话

请参考：
“To bell the cat” means to do something dangers, something that might end in disaster灾难.
The expression comes from an old story. A family of mice老鼠 could not leave the hole to get food because of its fear of a cat. The mice decided to tie a bell around the cat's neck颈. The bell would ring as the cat moved. So the mice would always know where the cat was. All agreed it was a wonderful plan. That is until one wise old mouse asked, “Who will bell the cat?”
Bell the cat，给猫系上铃铛，这当然是没什么难的，但如果联想一个古老的寓言里，“给猫系上铃铛”还是一件很冒险的事情呢！故事的发生是这样的：一窝老鼠因为怕猫，结果饿的要命。于是它们认为最好的办法是在猫的脖子上系一个铃铛。这样，铃铛一响，它们就知道猫来了。大家都觉得那是个好主意，但是有一只老的、比较聪明的老鼠问，“谁去给猫系上铃铛呢？”。当然“老鼠给猫系铃铛”是奢谈，但如果真的有个老鼠敢为猫系上铃铛，那它也算是“为救众多的老鼠”而“奋不顾身”了，不过最终也是得到死无葬身之地的结果。不知道现在的社会中是不是：It's very diffcult to get a man who will bell the cat. 很难找到危险时刻能够挺身而出的人。
所以bell the cat就表示“为众人承担风险、替别人冒险”的意思。

还有参考的：
“to be somebody's cat's paw.”成为某人的猫爪，被某人利用 It means to be fooled in to doing someone else's dirty work. It comes from an old story about a monkey. He wants some nuts heating on a fire. The monkey tries to steal the nuts. But he burns his fingers. So, he seizes the foot or paw of a cat and he uses that to pull the nuts out of the fire.

“Fat Cat” describes someone who is rich. You often hear it ring political campaigns政治竞选. Some fat cats give lots of money to politicians they hoped will be elected将被选举上. American jazz musicians have used the word “cat” to mean a man.

A sharp cat is a man who is dressed in the latest fashionable clothing. The great American horn player Louis Armstrong used the expression this way many years ago. Armstrong said, “I had on a new cowboy hat牛仔帽, a fine black suit, and new shining leather shoes皮鞋. I was a sharp cat.”

6. 写一篇捉弄别人或别人捉弄你的笑话。讲一讲先发生了什么，后来怎么样了，你意识到了什么。求英语作文

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着专多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说属:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

7. 英语作文翻译，不要翻译器的！

愚人节是个开来别人玩自笑的日子，没人知道她是怎么开始的，不过大家都觉得它源于法国。在16世纪的时候，人们在3月25日到4月1日庆祝新年。

在1560年中， 国王查理斯九世把日期改成3月25日到1月1日， 但是还是有些人一直庆祝到4月1日为止，所以别人就叫它们“四月的笨蛋”。每个国家庆祝愚人节的方式是不同的。

在法国，人们管四月的笨蛋叫“四月鱼”。大家用胶带把纸鱼粘在朋友们的背后来愚弄他们。当他们发现之后，大家就会冲她们喊“四月鱼！”在英格兰，人们只在早上开玩笑。如果别人愚弄你，那么你便是个傻瓜。

在苏格兰，愚人节长达48小时。他们把四月的笨蛋叫做“四月杜鹃鸟”，它还有另一个名字叫布谷鸟。

在美国，人们会在四月的第一天对朋友和他人开些小玩笑。他们可能会指着你的鞋说：“你鞋带开了。”如果你相信他们低头去看的话，你就变成“四月的笨蛋”了。

8. 一篇英语作文，一篇笑话

The Spring Festival is the most important festival in China.People usually decorate the doors and windows with red papercuts.becouse red means good luck.People usually clean house too.becouse they want to sweep away bad luck.Children can get some new clothes or presents from their parents and grandparents.
On New Year's Eve,family always have a big dinner.Everybody are watch TV and talk.In the midnight,there usually fairworks.
On New Year's Day,people usually put on their new clothes and visit their femily and friends.They usually say:"Happy New Year's Day."
The Spring Festival finishes at the Lantern Festival after two weeks.People usually eat a kind of rice mpling called yuanxiao.It can take people good luck all the year round.
笑话；
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conctor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

我没有睡着

当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”

“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”

“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”