Ⅰ 急！！！求英语幽默口语小对话
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer, "I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?"The farmer replied, "What's time to a pig?"
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗？
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
Ⅱ 求简单英语对话内容!英语口语考试!
A: Hello. Can I speak to Yolanda, please?
B: Hold on, please.
A: Thank you.
B: Sorry, but she's out.
A: May I leave a message?
B: Sure.
A: This is Tom Gray, would you please ask her to come to my Birthday party this Sunday?
B: OK. Got it.
A: Thank you. Umm.. By the way, please ask her to take her sister with her?
B: I'm her sister Lucy.
A: Wow, sorry Lucy. Then would you please come with her together?
B: OK. I'm glad to. Bye bye.
A: Bye.
Ⅲ 急求一份幽默诙谐式的英语口语二人对话范文
经典对话一：
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）
女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我宁愿留下那些钱。)
经典对话二：
男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）
女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）
经典对话三：
男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
经典对话四：
男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
经典对话五：
男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？）
女：Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）
经典对话六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？）
女：Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）
经典对话七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。）
女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗？你是说你要离开？）
Ⅳ 急求一份幽默诙谐式的英语口语二人对话范文
昨天来了个老外，进到办公室，前台小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较清闲，就面带微笑的：“hello?”
老外：“hi.”
前台小姐：“you have what thing?”
老外：“can you speak english?”
前台小姐：“if i not speak english, i am speaking what?”
老外：“can anybody else speak english? ”
前台小姐：“you yourself look. all people are playing,no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go.”
老外：“good heavens. anybody here can speak english?”
前台小姐：“ shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing.”
老外：“i want to speak to your head.”
前台小姐：“head not zai.you tomorrow come.”
Ⅳ 求美剧中两人的搞笑对话~英语口语课要用，2到3分钟就好！
1、 我不需要那些不如我的人对我的肯定。
1、i don’t need validation from lesser minds.
2、 火箭科学家?火箭科学家?你怎么不干脆告诉他们我在金门大桥收过路费?我是研究弦论的理论物理学家。火箭科学家!太侮辱人了!
2、The rocket scientist? The rocket scientist? Why don’t you just tell them that I’m a toll-taker at the golden gate bridge? I’m a theoretical physicist. Rocket scientist, how humiliating!
3、 我觉得我更像一只杜鹃，你知道的，把蛋下在普通鸟巢里的一种更高等的生物。当然，新生的杜鹃把所有的食物都吃掉了，它那些平凡的同胞只能饿死。对你来说很幸运，比喻到此就结束了。
3、I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird, you know a superior creature whose egg is placed in the nest of ordinary birds, of course, the newly hatched cuckoo eats all the food, leaving the ordinary siblings to starve to death. Luckily for you, that’s where the metaphor ended.
4、 我为人类悲哀。
4、I weep for humanity.
5、 从我妈给我断奶后我就没忘掉过一件事。
5、I haven’t forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.
6、 我是“聪明人”?要被归为“聪明人”我得去掉60点智商才行。
6、I’m “smart”? I’d have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as “smart”.
7、 你们那艘要沉的船上又招募了什么老鼠啊?
7、What rat have you recruited to the sinking ship?
8、 我是松香甘油树脂(一种有机黏合剂)，你是无机合剂，所以不管你朝我的方向发射什么语言子弹都会反射以后弹回去，回到它原有的轨道上，附着在你身上。
8、I’m polymerized tree sap, and you’re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you.
9、 我没有无视我妹妹，我无视你们所有人。
9、I’m not ignoring my sister, I’m ignoring all of you.
10、为什么还要浪费食物?在德克萨斯，要是奶牛不产奶了他们才不会继续喂它，他们会把它带出去一枪打死。
Why waste food? In Texas, when a cow goes dry, they don’t keep feeding it, they just take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
可以去看看生活大爆炸。不错的
Ⅵ 求英语口语，三分钟，两人对话，要简单的
3。 A和B都是大学毕业生。满足你对校园和抱怨歧视你
在求职过程中有经验丰富的申请。专
5。 A和B是伟大的属人民的故事讲述在/运动/科艺。这个故事出纳员尝试
谁听众留下深刻印象的表现感到惊讶和兴趣。
6。 A是英国/美国/印度游客，而B是土生土长的公民。 A问
B关于法律/约会海关/宗教存在，并显示出信念关于B的回答和怀疑。
7。一个是客户和B的家庭清洁机器人/迷你书扫描仪的销售人员。乙尝试
确保一个谁是它的破裂和其他问题的可能性表示关注。
9。 A和B正在讨论是否假期是一个很好的时间来表达感激之情，哪些
节日是最合适的。
Ⅶ 帮忙写 两个英语口语对话 分别3分钟左右 4个人ABCD 简单点就行
what if i could live again
if i had a chance to live for another time,i have to say that my whole life wii de different.
firstly,i will refresh myself,and begin to correct my life value.my life today is a little bit watseful,because i have waste a lot time on computer games,TV shows,and sope opera.now i have realize that time is money,every minute is valuable.if we lost them,and let it go freely,it;s a silly action.i will cherish every bit of time,to accumulate more knoeledge ,to read more books,to learn more lessons to improve myself.
secondly,i wii spend more time with my parents,each dad and mum is greatful,especlically ourselves,isn't it?because,they devote all they have to us.even the things may not be best in the world,bu they are the best that our parents have.so,in the following turn of life,i will spend more time to listen to their suggestions.
that is all i want to do in dead need if i can live again.
Ⅷ 哪个英语大神能提供一个两人的英语口语对话或者搞笑段子 或者比较经典的英语短文 大概四分钟 跪求
英语口语很棒