⑴ 急求一份幽默诙谐式的英语口语二人对话范文
经典对话一：
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）
女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我宁愿留下那些钱。)
经典对话二：
男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）
女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）
经典对话三：
男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
经典对话四：
男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
经典对话五：
男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？）
女：Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）
经典对话六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？）
女：Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）
经典对话七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。）
女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗？你是说你要离开？）
⑵ 一个外国人主持的节目，还挺搞笑的 ，是有助于口语学习的那种，他常开玩笑说这是中国最搞笑的英语节目，
老外看世界？
⑶ 英语口语中，funny有没有表示“幽默的，风趣的”的意思
幽默的，风趣的 英语是 humorous, witty
但 funny 在一些语境里也有 相同意回思。答
例句：
Bill can be funny in a witty and humorous sort of way.
⑷ 英语口语考试，有五个情景对话，求大神给出剧本，三分钟，英文最好，中文也行，但求幽默
（自言自语）哦，真是糟糕，居然找不到路了。。（突然看到一个正在看书的女生）你好，同学！我是外国佬，第一次来这里，我可以问你个问题吗？
(automatic speaking) Oh, really bad, I can't find the way.. (suddenly saw a girl is read a Book) Hello, students! I am the foreigner, come here for the first time, may I ask you a question?
（抬起头）额，什么事？
(Tai Qitou) well, what is it?
啊哈，世界之大，能遇见你这样的姑娘真是荣幸啊~~额，（挠头）能告诉我，去厕所的路吗？
Ah, the world is big, can meet you this girl is really honored ah ~ ~ well, (might) tell me, go to the toilet of the road?
哦，天哪，你是眼花了吗？我是女生，怎么会去过男厕所呢？我当然不知道啦
Oh, God, you are dazed? I am a girl, how could have been men's toilet? Of course I don't know
额，在中国，厕所不是在一起的吗？。。。
Well, in China, toilet not together?...
哦，当然不是。这里可没有你那里那么开放
Oh, of course not. Here without you there so open
好吧，我不是那个意思。那么，女厕所在哪里呢？
OK. I didn't mean that. So, where is the toilet?
什么！？你要去女厕所！？
Sorry? Do you want to go to the toilet!?
哦，不，我很急，你能快点告诉我吗？
Oh, no, I'm in a hurry, can you tell me?
好吧，说实话，我也不是本地人，我刚刚来这里度假，所以我无法回答你的问题，抱歉咯
Well, to tell you the truth, I have not a native, I just came here for a holiday, so I can't answer your question, I'm sorry
额……
The amount of......
⑸ 别开玩笑的英语怎么说我要很口语化的~~
no kidding======对的，很口语化了。
no joke
please don't joke
please do not kid me
let's be serious
⑹ 急求一份幽默诙谐式的英语口语二人对话范文
昨天来了个老外，进到办公室，前台小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较清闲，就面带微笑的：“hello?”
老外：“hi.”
前台小姐：“you have what thing?”
老外：“can you speak english?”
前台小姐：“if i not speak english, i am speaking what?”
老外：“can anybody else speak english? ”
前台小姐：“you yourself look. all people are playing,no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go.”
老外：“good heavens. anybody here can speak english?”
前台小姐：“ shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing.”
老外：“i want to speak to your head.”
前台小姐：“head not zai.you tomorrow come.”
⑺ 英语一分钟口语考试，求英文幽默故事一篇
李阳时代背的：
An Awkward Situation
A woman was singing. One of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticized the singer.
"What a terrible voice!" he said. "Do you know who she is?"
"Yes" was the answer. "She is my wife."
"Oh, I beg your pardon." The man said. "Of course her voice isn't bad, but the song is very bad. I wonder who wrote that awful song. "
"I did." was the answer.
可能短了点，不过如果声情并茂，做点动作，大概够吧。。。
⑻ 急！！！求英语幽默口语小对话
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer, "I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?"The farmer replied, "What's time to a pig?"
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗？
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
⑼ 英语幽默小故事三分钟，英语口语测试难不难
幽默小故事一：慎重许愿
Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。
幽默小故事二：袋鼠与笼子
(Kangaroos and the Cage)
One day the staff members of a zoo called a meeting to discuss the problem--how to deal with the kangaroos that were found out of the cage. They came to the conclusion that the cage was placed too low and decided to raise it from one to two meters high. But the next day the kangaroos were still at large and they again raised the cage to three meters.
有一天，动物园的管理员们发现袋鼠从笼子里跑出来了， 于是开会讨论，一致认为是笼子的高度过低，所以他们决定将笼子的高度由原来的1米加高到2米。结果第二天他们发现，袋鼠还是跑到外面来，所以他们又决定再将高度加高到3米。
Quite beyond their expectation the next morning they saw the kangaroos still free to go about. They were alarmed and determined to go to all the length by raising the cage to the height of ten meters.
没想到隔天居然又看到袋鼠全跑到外面，于是管理 员们大为紧张，决定一不做二不休，将笼子的高度加高到10米。
Later a giraffe, while chatting with some kangaroos, asked them, “Do you think they will go on raising your cage?”
一天，长颈鹿和几只袋鼠在闲聊，“你们看，这些人 会不会再继续加高你们的笼子?”长颈鹿问。
“Hard to say,” said a kangaroo, “if they continue forgetting to fasten the cage door.”
“很难说。”袋鼠说，“如果他们再继续忘记关门的话!”
⑽ 英语口语你真讨厌开玩笑
1.dare you?
2.get out of here!
3.can you?