Ⅰ 急！！！求英語幽默口語小對話
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer, "I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?"The farmer replied, "What's time to a pig?"
一天，有一個城市裡的遊客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開著車，想看看農庄是什麼樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城裡人看見一位農夫在宅後的草地上，手中抱著一頭豬，並把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城裡人對農夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農夫回答說，"時間對豬有什麼意義?"
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父親在哪兒？
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
「看，」哥哥說，「這些畫多漂亮呀！」
「是啊，」弟弟說道，「可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？」
哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：「很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。」
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可憐的丈夫
「你根本無法想像和我妻子打交道是多麼的難，」一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，「她問我一個問題，然後自己回答了，過後又花半個小時跟我解釋為什麼我的答案是錯的。」
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道這個諺語嗎？
一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
「沒有關系，」一位先生說，「不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：『吠狗不咬人。』」
「啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？」
Ⅱ 求簡單英語對話內容!英語口語考試!
A: Hello. Can I speak to Yolanda, please?
B: Hold on, please.
A: Thank you.
B: Sorry, but she's out.
A: May I leave a message?
B: Sure.
A: This is Tom Gray, would you please ask her to come to my Birthday party this Sunday?
B: OK. Got it.
A: Thank you. Umm.. By the way, please ask her to take her sister with her?
B: I'm her sister Lucy.
A: Wow, sorry Lucy. Then would you please come with her together?
B: OK. I'm glad to. Bye bye.
A: Bye.
Ⅲ 急求一份幽默詼諧式的英語口語二人對話範文
經典對話一：
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？）
女：Actually I』d rather have the money.（不必，我寧願留下那些錢。)
經典對話二：
男：Can I have your name?（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？）
女：Why? Don』t you already have one? （為什麼？你不是已經有一個了嗎？）
經典對話三：
男：I』m a photographer. I』ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I』m a plastic surgeon. I』ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：
男：Is this seat empty?（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
經典對話五：
男：Haven』t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什麼地方見過你？）
女：Yes. That』s why I don』t go there anymore.（是的。這就是為什麼我不再去那個地方的原因。）
經典對話六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？）
女：Sorry. I』m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。這個周末我頭疼。）
經典對話七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能讓你非常快樂。）
女：Why? Are you leaving?（是嗎？你是說你要離開？）
Ⅳ 急求一份幽默詼諧式的英語口語二人對話範文
昨天來了個老外，進到辦公室，前台小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戲，只有自己比較清閑，就面帶微笑的：「hello?」
老外：「hi.」
前台小姐：「you have what thing?」
老外：「can you speak english?」
前台小姐：「if i not speak english, i am speaking what?」
老外：「can anybody else speak english? 」
前台小姐：「you yourself look. all people are playing,no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go.」
老外：「good heavens. anybody here can speak english?」
前台小姐：「 shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing.」
老外：「i want to speak to your head.」
前台小姐：「head not zai.you tomorrow come.」
Ⅳ 求美劇中兩人的搞笑對話~英語口語課要用，2到3分鍾就好！
1、 我不需要那些不如我的人對我的肯定。
1、i don』t need validation from lesser minds.
2、 火箭科學家?火箭科學家?你怎麼不幹脆告訴他們我在金門大橋收過路費?我是研究弦論的理論物理學家。火箭科學家!太侮辱人了!
2、The rocket scientist? The rocket scientist? Why don』t you just tell them that I』m a toll-taker at the golden gate bridge? I』m a theoretical physicist. Rocket scientist, how humiliating!
3、 我覺得我更像一隻杜鵑，你知道的，把蛋下在普通鳥巢里的一種更高等的生物。當然，新生的杜鵑把所有的食物都吃掉了，它那些平凡的同胞只能餓死。對你來說很幸運，比喻到此就結束了。
3、I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird, you know a superior creature whose egg is placed in the nest of ordinary birds, of course, the newly hatched cuckoo eats all the food, leaving the ordinary siblings to starve to death. Luckily for you, that』s where the metaphor ended.
4、 我為人類悲哀。
4、I weep for humanity.
5、 從我媽給我斷奶後我就沒忘掉過一件事。
5、I haven』t forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.
6、 我是「聰明人」?要被歸為「聰明人」我得去掉60點智商才行。
6、I』m 「smart」? I』d have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as 「smart」.
7、 你們那艘要沉的船上又招募了什麼老鼠啊?
7、What rat have you recruited to the sinking ship?
8、 我是松香甘油樹脂(一種有機黏合劑)，你是無機合劑，所以不管你朝我的方向發射什麼語言子彈都會反射以後彈回去，回到它原有的軌道上，附著在你身上。
8、I』m polymerized tree sap, and you』re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you.
9、 我沒有無視我妹妹，我無視你們所有人。
9、I』m not ignoring my sister, I』m ignoring all of you.
10、為什麼還要浪費食物?在德克薩斯，要是奶牛不產奶了他們才不會繼續喂它，他們會把它帶出去一槍打死。
Why waste food? In Texas, when a cow goes dry, they don』t keep feeding it, they just take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
可以去看看生活大爆炸。不錯的
Ⅵ 求英語口語，三分鍾，兩人對話，要簡單的
3。 A和B都是大學畢業生。滿足你對校園和抱怨歧視你
在求職過程中有經驗豐富的申請。專
5。 A和B是偉大的屬人民的故事講述在/運動/科藝。這個故事出納員嘗試
誰聽眾留下深刻印象的表現感到驚訝和興趣。
6。 A是英國/美國/印度遊客，而B是土生土長的公民。 A問
B關於法律/約會海關/宗教存在，並顯示出信念關於B的回答和懷疑。
7。一個是客戶和B的家庭清潔機器人/迷你書掃描儀的銷售人員。乙嘗試
確保一個誰是它的破裂和其他問題的可能性表示關注。
9。 A和B正在討論是否假期是一個很好的時間來表達感激之情，哪些
節日是最合適的。
Ⅶ 幫忙寫 兩個英語口語對話 分別3分鍾左右 4個人ABCD 簡單點就行
what if i could live again
if i had a chance to live for another time,i have to say that my whole life wii de different.
firstly,i will refresh myself,and begin to correct my life value.my life today is a little bit watseful,because i have waste a lot time on computer games,TV shows,and sope opera.now i have realize that time is money,every minute is valuable.if we lost them,and let it go freely,it;s a silly action.i will cherish every bit of time,to accumulate more knoeledge ,to read more books,to learn more lessons to improve myself.
secondly,i wii spend more time with my parents,each dad and mum is greatful,especlically ourselves,isn't it?because,they devote all they have to us.even the things may not be best in the world,bu they are the best that our parents have.so,in the following turn of life,i will spend more time to listen to their suggestions.
that is all i want to do in dead need if i can live again.
Ⅷ 哪個英語大神能提供一個兩人的英語口語對話或者搞笑段子 或者比較經典的英語短文 大概四分鍾 跪求
英語口語很棒