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口語英語笑話

發布時間:2021-01-24 10:59:40

Ⅰ 急求一篇英文小故事或笑話,能用口語在2分鍾內口述完的

在書店,忽然阿珠眼睛一亮,看到一本書名叫「夢遺落在草原上」
唉呀專不得了!「夢屬遺」居然會落在地上,真神奇!
趕緊叫阿花來看,阿花也興奮地打開來看仔細一看,她們才猛然發現目錄上寫:
「夢,遺落在草原上。」
阿珠大失所望,很不高興的說:將來我要出一本書叫「月經常掛在天上」

Ⅱ 參加口語比賽的英語小故事或英語笑話,要四行的,簡單的,三分鍾

請採納我的問題

1、一個女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的訂婚戒指,但竟沒有一個同學注意到,令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐著談天的時候,她突然站起來大聲說:「哎呀,這里真熱呀,我看我還是把戒指脫下來吧。」2、女主人把女傭叫到面前問她:「你是否懷孕了?」「是啊!」女傭回道。「虧你還說得出口,你還沒有結婚,難道不覺得害羞嗎?」女主人再次訓。「我為什麼要害羞,女主人你自己不也懷孕了嗎?」「可是我懷的是我丈夫的!」女主人生氣地反駁。「我也是啊!」女傭高興地附和。3、一個人騎摩托車喜歡反穿衣服,就是把口子在後面扣上,可以擋風。一天他酒後駕駛, 翻了,一頭栽在路旁。警察趕到:警察甲:好嚴重的車禍。警察乙:是啊,腦袋都撞到後面去了。警察甲:嗯,還有呼吸,我們幫他把頭轉回來吧。警察乙:好.....一、二使勁,轉回來了。警察甲:嗯,沒有呼吸了.......4、在一條七拐八拐的鄉村公路上,因為時常發生車禍,所以常常有一些鬼故事發生,有一天晚上,有一個計程車司機看見路邊有一個長發披肩,身著白衣的女人向他招手,因為這個司機沒有見過鬼,所以大膽的停下來讓她上車了,這一路上,司機雖然不信有鬼,心裡也毛毛的,所以時常從後視鏡看後面的女人,開著開著,突然司機發現那個女人不見了!司機嚇了一大跳,趕緊踩了一個剎車!只見那個女人滿臉是血,表情猙獰。司機嚇的牙直打顫。突然那女人開口了:「你會不會開車啊!我低頭系個鞋帶你突然一剎車我把鼻子都撞破了……」5、一個病人去看病,醫生檢查了他,皺著眉頭說:「您病得太嚴重了,恐怕不會活多久了。」 病人:「求您告訴我我還能活多久?」 醫生:「十……」 病人著急地問:「十什麼?十年??十個月???十天?????」 醫生:「十,九,八,七,六,五……」6、老師:「你能說一些18世紀科學家共同特點嗎?」學生:「能,他們都死了。」7、犀糞蜣和蚊子談戀愛,蜣問蚊子是做什麼工作的,蚊子說:「護士,打針的。」蜣一拍大腿:「緣分吶,我是中葯局搓葯丸的…」8、一非洲人住在某一賓館。夜半,起火,不明原因。非洲人見狀顧不了那麼許多,光著身子就跑出去了。消防員見狀驚呼:「我的媽呀!都燒的糊了吧區的了還能跑那麼快!」9、一個人想出國考察,但必須得到老總批准。於是他向老總請示,老總給了他一張字條,上面寫著:「Go ahead」。 那人想:「Go ahead=前進,老總是批准了。」於是他開始打點行李。 一個同事見到了他問:「你在做什啊??」他說:「我准備出國考察,老總批准了,給我寫了『Go ahead』。」 同事一見條就樂了:「咱們老總根本就沒批准!!咱老總的英語水平你還不知道,他這是在說去個頭!」10、牧師對買了他馬和馬車的農夫說:「這匹馬只能聽懂教會的語言,叫"感謝上帝"它就跑;叫"贊美上帝"它才停下。」農夫將信將疑,他試著喊了一聲感謝上帝,那匹馬立刻飛奔起來,越跑越快。一隻跑到懸崖邊上驚恐的農夫才想起讓它停下來的口令「贊美上帝」。果然,馬停下來了。死裡逃生的農夫長出一口氣:「感謝上帝………」

我打了很久,請採納

1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"
I played for a long time, please

Ⅲ 尋找英語笑話

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了?」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆,」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子,」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢?」
「她是個賣糖果的。」

Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:
(1) inform v.告訴
(2) nest n.窩;巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓勵
(5) resemble v. 相似;類似

18.鳥窩與頭發
我姐姐是一位小學老師。一次一個學生告訴她說一隻鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個窩。
「是什麼鳥呢?」我姐姐問她。
「我沒看到鳥兒,老師,只看到鳥窩。」那孩子回答說。
「那麼,你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎?」我姐姐鼓勵她道。
「哦,老師,就像你的頭發一樣。」

I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因為我剛咬了自己的舌頭。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的縮略形式。

我剛咬破自己的舌頭
「我們有毒嗎?」一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。
「是的,親愛的,」她回答說,「你問這個干什麼?」
「因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。」

A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。接近門口,一位肥胖的中年婦女從後面沖過來,沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳,仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正准備扶她,她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮定了一下,對我擠了一下眉,說道:「總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?」

英語笑話(一)

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子會和跳蚤有什麼不同呢?你可能會直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。但除此之外呢,那就是猴子身上可以長跳蚤,而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。這個答案很有意思吧?

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

如果你踩了農夫的玉米或是穀物,他肯定會生氣的;而如果你踩了農夫腳底的雞眼,他會更生氣。Corn既可以表示「玉米/穀物」,也有「雞眼」的意思。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

因為snail(蝸牛)的後背上總是背著一所房子,所以說蝸牛是世界上最強壯的生物是不足為奇的。你說呢?

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

一看到make faces這個短語,你可千萬別以為是在鍾表廠工作的人整天都做鬼臉呀!因為除了這個意思以外,它還可以從字面上解釋為製造鍾面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

怎樣才能不讓夢游者(sleepwalker)夢游(walk in his sleep)呢?最簡單的方法就是不讓他睡覺。雖然這不是治療方法,但如果讓夢游者醒著呢,他的確就不會去夢遊了。

英語笑話(二)

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一個大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。

-- 他真是一個大人物。干什麼的?

-- 墓地守墓人。

英語笑話(三)

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它們是從美國直接帶來的

一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久,到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行櫃台,銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票,看是否有假。

這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩,最後實在忍耐不住說:「相信我,先生,也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元,它們是從美國直接帶來的。」

英語笑話(四)my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不識字

布朗夫人:哦,

親愛的,我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!

史密斯夫人:可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊!

布朗夫人:沒有用的,我的小狗不認識字。」

英語笑話(五)Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

給我那個打贏的吧

-- 服務員,

這個龍蝦只有一隻爪。

-- 對不起,先生,這只肯定打過架了。

-- 哦, 那給我那個打贏的吧。

英語笑話(六)The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

吝嗇鬼請客

一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說:「你上到五樓,找中間那個門,然後用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後,再用你的腳把門推開。」

「為什麼要用我的肘和腳呢?」

「你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪,你總不會空著手來吧?」吝嗇鬼回答。

英語笑話 http://www.english767.com/Article/joke/Index.html 有聲英語笑話,推薦 http://www.english767.com/tingli/joke/Index.html

Ⅳ 英語口語鬧笑話

今天英語口語模擬——又鬧笑話啦……
今天英語口語模擬,怎麼說也有些緊張,現場和我想的還是有很大差別的,和體檢一樣,鬧了不少笑話。。。

鬧的第一個笑話:
一進考場,看到不認識的老師,長得還可以,看起來很好的,心裡稍稍放鬆
剛一坐下老師就對我說:「Good morning」其實在她說之前我就想說「老師好」了,於是我下意識的說了:「老師好」,她一臉驚愕的看著我,重復道:「Good morning」,俗話說「言多必失」,本著能不說決不多說一句的原則,我沖老師輕輕「恩」了一聲,老師以為我沒聽懂什麼意思「Good morning??」的又說了一遍,語氣充滿疑問,我才極不情願的回答「Good morning!」

鬧的第二個笑話:
這個老師語速極快,比起其它考場糾正讀音的差遠了,一句中文沒說,而且我一愣她就算不會,我感覺到她就走很快自己沒跟上,然後到她問最後一個問題:「Which is your favourite month?」我就覺得month好熟,就是一下沒反應過來,又怕我一愣她就過,於是立刻反問:「My favourite month?」「Yes!」她立刻回答!「month?」……於是又過去了

鬧的第三個笑話:
她死活不說中文,還那麼……我很不爽,反正分打完了,我也還算順利的順利拿了滿分,也有能不說決不多說一句的原因,於是我沒准備走之前和她打招呼,可是我簽過字她和我說了:「Good bye」,我不說話也不好,就沖她說了聲:「再見!」

鬧的第四個笑話:
出來後和同學交流(我把之前的事都說了),然後CC說一進去老師先用英語問她叫什麼,她就也用英語回答了。我立刻問:「用英語怎麼回答阿?」「My name is CC(她說的是真名哦)」她說。暈……要是我我就直接回「豆豆(當然也是真名)了」!「本著能不說決不多說一句的原則」我補充道……

Ⅳ 急求英語小笑話 1 2分鍾的把 帶翻譯 有生詞解釋的

一個月就能明顯提高高考成績?這聽起來像天方夜譚,但這確實是可以做到的! 下面是「內部秘密文件」,特別公開給所有高三的同學和老師,也可以請學校下載後,印刷給大家!
一個月提升英語成績和口語水平計劃
30天讀透30篇真題,熟背30段,做30個生詞表,集體聽讀寫30遍!
英語成績提高是最漫長的!
單詞沒有用!因為背了就忘,就算記住了,還是看不懂文章!
語法沒有用!語法一學就頭痛,越學越痛苦!
英語考查的是篇章理解能力!必須通過學習短文才能快速提高成績!
那麼到底如何做呢?
請仔細閱讀以下計劃:
一、一天「反復做」一篇「閱讀理解」,不要把答案寫在書上!反復做,反復體會!速度越來越快!
二、立刻製作單詞表!所有生詞一個都不能放過!
三、老師協助逐句翻譯、逐句解釋語法,徹底搞清楚!
四、全校或全年級一起聽錄音跟著念,一天讀到30遍!這是最關鍵的步驟!
五、隨身攜帶,有空就讀!越讀越簡單,越讀越輕松!遍數就是硬道理!
六、睡覺前瘋狂默寫!把默寫過的紙都收集起來,將來可以拍賣!因為你會取得大成功!
七、用同樣的方法,一周之內徹底讀透一篇完形和作文!
所有資料請和老師一起從《五分鍾突破高中英語》上選擇!已經翻譯好,已經配好錄音!直接用就可以了!上了大學,還要繼續學習這套經典的教材!我現在還在瘋狂背誦,隨身攜帶!
請嚴格執行這個流程!
請大家記住:
一、天才就是重復次數最多的人!重復就是力量!重復創造奇跡!我愛你們!我堅定地認為:你就是最偉大的天才!
二、只管大聲朗讀,英語就能成功!
三、語感就是一眼看出正確答案的能力!語感的好壞等於文章朗讀的遍數!
四、英語長得和拼音一樣,英語是漢語下的蛋!中國人一定可以征服英語!
五、錄音是最好的老師,反復聽錄音是最有效的方法!最好集體一起聽,一起狂讀!讓純正的發音帶動你的發音!
請上我的「新浪博客」隨時獲得奮斗的力量!
請讀我的自傳《我瘋狂我成功》獲得源源不斷的動力!
父母對我們無條件的付出和愛就是我們最強大的奮斗動力!
校長、老師都在愛著你們,關心著你們,保護著你們!
請不要讓愛你的人失望!不要讓愛你的人等待太久!
加油!你一定能成功!我一定要幫助你!
記住:
只要不餓死,就有機會創造奇跡!
而一口流利的英語就是創造奇跡最有力的工具!
英語好的人,未來一定好!

Ⅵ 收英語笑話 口語課要講

Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."

為我所用
一頭大象對抄一隻小老鼠說:「你無疑是我見過的最小、最沒用的東西。」

「請再說一遍,讓我把它記下來。」老鼠說。「我要講給我認識的一隻跳蚤聽。

Ⅶ 關於英語口音的笑話,急求!!!

在語言班的第一節課上,因為澳洲口音問題,引發了一件有趣的事。
英語口語老師Marry是一位資深的教授,她給我們上的第一節課講的就是口語發音的問題, 課堂提問時,Marry老師指了指後排的我說:「Are you coming today」。「today」這個音,聽起來就像「todie」,當時我腦子一蒙,脫口而出「no」!這時,聽懂意思的同學們開始大笑起來。原來我把「Are you coming today」(你今天來上課了嗎)聽成「Are you coming to die」(你快要死了嗎), 這還真是雞同鴨講,心裡卻對marry的「todie」 暗自嘲笑起來。

我想英語口音和發音問題是絕大部分赴澳留學的學弟學妹們都會遇到的難題。下面就把我的有趣經歷和大家講講:我的澳洲同學經常在見面時候相互問候「G』day」,(Good day)或者「Havagooday」,(have a good day),剛開始我都是一頭霧水,後來才發現這些充滿著本土特色的連音中,蘊藏著澳洲人無限的熱情;另外,我有一位廣東朋友經常發不出「th」的音。結果他在說「我今年30歲(thirty),我妻子也是30歲」這句話時,說成了「I am dirty,my wife is dirty too」(我很臟,我妻子也很臟),很是尷尬。

Ⅷ 簡單的英語小笑話有哪些

我這有幾個英語小笑話: 校園幽默四則
1.
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

兩只鳥
老師: 這兒有兩只鳥,一隻是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀嗎?
學生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老師:請說說看。
學生:燕子旁邊的就是麻雀,麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

2.
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

魚網
"你能告訴我魚網是什麼做的嗎,安?" 老師發問道。
"把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。" 小女孩回答道。

3.
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said
that two and four were six too....."

新老師
9月1日, 喬治放學回到家裡。
"喬治,你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?" 媽媽問。
"媽媽,我不喜歡,因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。"

4.
A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates
were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then
hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考試
在一次物理考試時,當同學們都還在苦思冥想時,尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。
這個問題是:為什麼在打雷時,我們總是先看到閃電後聽到雷聲?
尼克的回答是:因為眼睛在前,耳朵在後。

Ⅸ 求個容易聽懂的英語笑話

小明從小英語不好 又好強 一次不小心撞到一老外
他說 i'm sorry
老外說 i'm sorry too(two)
小明一聽急了,於是說 i'm sorry three

the picture of the cheese

One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."

有一天某位女士看到一隻老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過。她很害怕老鼠,所以她沖出屋子,搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒,她買了一隻老鼠夾。店主告訴她:"放點乳酪在裡面,很快你就會逮住那隻老鼠的。"

The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.

這位女士帶著鼠夾回到家裡,但她沒有在碗櫥里找到乳酪。她不想再回到商店裡去,因為已經很晚了。於是,她就從一份雜志中剪下一幅乳酪的圖片放進了夾子。

Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!

令人稱奇的是,這畫有乳酪的圖片竟然奏效了!第二天早上,這位女士下樓到廚房時,發現鼠夾里乳酪圖片旁有一張畫有老鼠的圖片

Ⅹ 簡單英文小笑話故事

Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師:為什麼你每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,僦看見一個牌子仩寫著"學校----慢行".

Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."

為我所用
一頭大象對一隻小老鼠說:「你無疑是我見過的最小、最沒用的東西。」

「請再說一遍,讓我把它記下來。」老鼠說。「我要講給我認識的一隻跳蚤聽。
回答者:277128012 - 大魔法師 八級 9-15 20:58
there are 3 old friend gathering around together
first said:"windy , isn't it ?"
second one replied:"no , it's thursday."
third said:"yeah! me too , let go and have some tea"

第一個說windy,但第二個聽成了wednesday,所以他說了今天是thursday,第三個卻把thursday聽成了thirsty,所以他說yeah! me too , let go and have some tea
回答者:LAFSjonas - 試用期 一級 9-15 21:09
這個笑話挺好笑的.生字應該不多.你自己也學查查字典.(我說個大意噢:一位伊利若州男子離開 冰天雪地的芝加哥到佛羅
里達州度假.他的妻子正在外地公幹,准備到時候在佛州會合.該男子到了佛州,駐進酒店,就急忙給他妻子發電子郵件.但是他將太太的網址打錯一個字母,結果這封郵件發到了一位牧師太太手裡,她的丈夫前一天剛過世,她為此在傷心欲絕.當她打開這封錯發來的郵件時,慘叫一聲,兩腿一蹬,死了.

郵件是這樣寫的:
親愛的,
我剛來報到.正准備迎接你明天的到來.
愛你的夫君
對了,這下面真的好熱唉.(Illinois是美國東部一個州.冬天很冷.Florida在美國南部,一年氣候都比較熱. )

A BIG E-mail Mistake 一封致命的郵件

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

雙關語:1熱:佛州天氣,2.煉獄
down :1.佛州(美國南方,在地圖下方)
2.地獄

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