⑴ 急求一份幽默詼諧式的英語口語二人對話範文
經典對話一：
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？）
女：Actually I』d rather have the money.（不必，我寧願留下那些錢。)
經典對話二：
男：Can I have your name?（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？）
女：Why? Don』t you already have one? （為什麼？你不是已經有一個了嗎？）
經典對話三：
男：I』m a photographer. I』ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I』m a plastic surgeon. I』ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：
男：Is this seat empty?（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
經典對話五：
男：Haven』t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什麼地方見過你？）
女：Yes. That』s why I don』t go there anymore.（是的。這就是為什麼我不再去那個地方的原因。）
經典對話六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？）
女：Sorry. I』m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。這個周末我頭疼。）
經典對話七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能讓你非常快樂。）
女：Why? Are you leaving?（是嗎？你是說你要離開？）
⑵ 一個外國人主持的節目，還挺搞笑的 ，是有助於口語學習的那種，他常開玩笑說這是中國最搞笑的英語節目，
老外看世界？
⑶ 英語口語中，funny有沒有表示「幽默的，風趣的」的意思
幽默的，風趣的 英語是 humorous, witty
但 funny 在一些語境里也有 相同意回思。答
例句：
Bill can be funny in a witty and humorous sort of way.
⑷ 英語口語考試，有五個情景對話，求大神給出劇本，三分鍾，英文最好，中文也行，但求幽默
（自言自語）哦，真是糟糕，居然找不到路了。。（突然看到一個正在看書的女生）你好，同學！我是外國佬，第一次來這里，我可以問你個問題嗎？
(automatic speaking) Oh, really bad, I can't find the way.. (suddenly saw a girl is read a Book) Hello, students! I am the foreigner, come here for the first time, may I ask you a question?
（抬起頭）額，什麼事？
(Tai Qitou) well, what is it?
啊哈，世界之大，能遇見你這樣的姑娘真是榮幸啊~~額，（撓頭）能告訴我，去廁所的路嗎？
Ah, the world is big, can meet you this girl is really honored ah ~ ~ well, (might) tell me, go to the toilet of the road?
哦，天哪，你是眼花了嗎？我是女生，怎麼會去過男廁所呢？我當然不知道啦
Oh, God, you are dazed? I am a girl, how could have been men's toilet? Of course I don't know
額，在中國，廁所不是在一起的嗎？。。。
Well, in China, toilet not together?...
哦，當然不是。這里可沒有你那裡那麼開放
Oh, of course not. Here without you there so open
好吧，我不是那個意思。那麼，女廁所在哪裡呢？
OK. I didn't mean that. So, where is the toilet?
什麼！？你要去女廁所！？
Sorry? Do you want to go to the toilet!?
哦，不，我很急，你能快點告訴我嗎？
Oh, no, I'm in a hurry, can you tell me?
好吧，說實話，我也不是本地人，我剛剛來這里度假，所以我無法回答你的問題，抱歉咯
Well, to tell you the truth, I have not a native, I just came here for a holiday, so I can't answer your question, I'm sorry
額……
The amount of......
⑸ 別開玩笑的英語怎麼說我要很口語化的~~
no kidding======對的，很口語化了。
no joke
please don't joke
please do not kid me
let's be serious
⑹ 急求一份幽默詼諧式的英語口語二人對話範文
昨天來了個老外，進到辦公室，前台小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戲，只有自己比較清閑，就面帶微笑的：「hello?」
老外：「hi.」
前台小姐：「you have what thing?」
老外：「can you speak english?」
前台小姐：「if i not speak english, i am speaking what?」
老外：「can anybody else speak english? 」
前台小姐：「you yourself look. all people are playing,no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go.」
老外：「good heavens. anybody here can speak english?」
前台小姐：「 shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing.」
老外：「i want to speak to your head.」
前台小姐：「head not zai.you tomorrow come.」
⑺ 英語一分鍾口語考試，求英文幽默故事一篇
李陽時代背的：
An Awkward Situation
A woman was singing. One of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticized the singer.
"What a terrible voice!" he said. "Do you know who she is?"
"Yes" was the answer. "She is my wife."
"Oh, I beg your pardon." The man said. "Of course her voice isn't bad, but the song is very bad. I wonder who wrote that awful song. "
"I did." was the answer.
可能短了點，不過如果聲情並茂，做點動作，大概夠吧。。。
⑻ 急！！！求英語幽默口語小對話
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer, "I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?"The farmer replied, "What's time to a pig?"
一天，有一個城市裡的遊客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開著車，想看看農庄是什麼樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城裡人看見一位農夫在宅後的草地上，手中抱著一頭豬，並把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城裡人對農夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農夫回答說，"時間對豬有什麼意義?"
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父親在哪兒？
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
「看，」哥哥說，「這些畫多漂亮呀！」
「是啊，」弟弟說道，「可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？」
哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：「很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。」
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可憐的丈夫
「你根本無法想像和我妻子打交道是多麼的難，」一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，「她問我一個問題，然後自己回答了，過後又花半個小時跟我解釋為什麼我的答案是錯的。」
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道這個諺語嗎？
一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
「沒有關系，」一位先生說，「不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：『吠狗不咬人。』」
「啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？」
⑼ 英語幽默小故事三分鍾，英語口語測試難不難
幽默小故事一：慎重許願
Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband『s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I『d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
慎重許願
一對結婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。
慶祝活動中，一位仙女出現了。她說，由於他們是已經結婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對夫妻每個人一個願望。
妻子想周遊世界。仙女招了招手。「呯!」的一聲，她的手中出現了一張票。
接下來該丈夫許願了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，「那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人。」
仙女拾起了魔術棒。「呯!」，他變成了90歲。
幽默小故事二：袋鼠與籠子
(Kangaroos and the Cage)
One day the staff members of a zoo called a meeting to discuss the problem--how to deal with the kangaroos that were found out of the cage. They came to the conclusion that the cage was placed too low and decided to raise it from one to two meters high. But the next day the kangaroos were still at large and they again raised the cage to three meters.
有一天，動物園的管理員們發現袋鼠從籠子里跑出來了， 於是開會討論，一致認為是籠子的高度過低，所以他們決定將籠子的高度由原來的1米加高到2米。結果第二天他們發現，袋鼠還是跑到外面來，所以他們又決定再將高度加高到3米。
Quite beyond their expectation the next morning they saw the kangaroos still free to go about. They were alarmed and determined to go to all the length by raising the cage to the height of ten meters.
沒想到隔天居然又看到袋鼠全跑到外面，於是管理 員們大為緊張，決定一不做二不休，將籠子的高度加高到10米。
Later a giraffe, while chatting with some kangaroos, asked them, 「Do you think they will go on raising your cage?」
一天，長頸鹿和幾只袋鼠在閑聊，「你們看，這些人 會不會再繼續加高你們的籠子?」長頸鹿問。
「Hard to say,」 said a kangaroo, 「if they continue forgetting to fasten the cage door.」
「很難說。」袋鼠說，「如果他們再繼續忘記關門的話!」
⑽ 英語口語你真討厭開玩笑
1.dare you?
2.get out of here!
3.can you?