⑴ 英語日常口語句子（搞笑）
1 Bazingga！逗你玩！
2 That one is taken！人家已經名花有主了！
3.Nice ,very crafty!呀呵，挺狡猾呀！
4 Listen to you!你聽聽！（說回的什麼話啊）
5 Hold your horses ,young man!別猴答急啊年輕人！
⑵ 求一篇搞笑的英語口語話劇......
醫生：你好，請問有什麼能幫到您的嗎？
Hello what can i do for u
患者：我覺得身體有點不對勁。
I』m not feeling well.
醫生：什麼地方覺得不舒服？
What are your symptoms?
患者：我頭疼，昨天睡眠不太好，不想吃東西，眼睛發紅，想吐.
I have a headache, and I haven』t slept properly for last night, I』ve also lost appetite and my eyes are burning, eel and i feel like throwing up.
醫生：你的臉色顯得蒼白，你感覺虛弱嗎？
you do look rather pale, do you feel weak?
患者：是的。我似乎一點力氣也沒有。
Yes, I never seem to have any energy.
醫生：你發燒嗎?
Do you have a fever?
患者：是的。我想有一點。
Yes, i think a little.
醫生：（對助手）請幫他量量體溫和驗血。
Plese take his
Temperature,and give him a blood test.
助手：（對患者）請把體溫表放在腋下。
Would you Please put the thermometer under your arm.? And I』ll give you a blood test. Would you roll up your sleeve?
患者：好的。
OK
醫生：吃了什麼不對勁的東西沒有?
Did you eat something unusual?
患者：我昨天吃了海鮮、冰激凌、炸雞、漢堡。I had seafood,icecream，fried chicken hamburg.......
醫生：你是食物中毒了。沒關系，打幾針就好了。我的助手會照顧好你的。
Ok just as i thought. You』re anemic.dont worry,just few injections and some pills. my assistance will take care of you.
助手：請坐在這里，脫下褲子。我不會使你感到疼痛的。Please sit here,and take off your pants,dont worry,i』m not going to do anything to hurt you.
患者：但我感到鑽心地疼。
But i feel great pains.......
助手：好了。
Ok its done
患者：這病要很久才能恢復嗎？
Will it take long to recover?
助手：只要你照醫生的吩咐，打針吃葯，你很快就會痊癒的。這里是給你的葯。
All you need to do is listen to the doctor and take the injections and medcines on time.here is your medcines.
患者：這是一種什麼葯呢？有什麼副作用么？
What kind of medcine is this?does this have any side-effects?
助手：這都是好葯，對你的病很有幫助。
These are all good medcines,they are good for your disease.
患者：我什麼時候再來？
When shall i come back?
助手：你最好更加註意飲食，多吃新鮮水果、蔬菜。不要熬夜，想辦法多休息。這樣的話你就不需要再來了。
You』d better pay more attention to your diet. Eat plenty of fresh fruit
and vegetables And don』t
stay up late working. Try to get more rest.then you dont need to come back.
患者：謝謝。
3Q
⑶ 英語日常口語句子（搞笑）
1 Bazingga!逗你玩!
2 That one is taken!人家已經名花有主了!
3.Nice ,very crafty!呀呵,挺狡猾呀!
4 Listen to you!你聽聽!（說的什麼回話啊）
5 Hold your horses ,young man!別猴急啊答年輕人!
⑷ 哪個英語大神能提供一個兩人的英語口語對話或者搞笑段子 或者比較經典的英語短文 大概四分鍾 跪求
英語口語很棒
⑸ 英語一分鍾口語考試，求英文幽默故事一篇
李陽時代背的：
An Awkward Situation
A woman was singing. One of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticized the singer.
"What a terrible voice!" he said. "Do you know who she is?"
"Yes" was the answer. "She is my wife."
"Oh, I beg your pardon." The man said. "Of course her voice isn't bad, but the song is very bad. I wonder who wrote that awful song. "
"I did." was the answer.
可能短了點，不過如果聲情並茂，做點動作，大概夠吧。。。
⑹ 急！！！求英語幽默口語小對話
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer, "I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?"The farmer replied, "What's time to a pig?"
一天，有一個城市裡的遊客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開著車，想看看農庄是什麼樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城裡人看見一位農夫在宅後的草地上，手中抱著一頭豬，並把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城裡人對農夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農夫回答說，"時間對豬有什麼意義?"
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父親在哪兒？
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
「看，」哥哥說，「這些畫多漂亮呀！」
「是啊，」弟弟說道，「可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？」
哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：「很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。」
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可憐的丈夫
「你根本無法想像和我妻子打交道是多麼的難，」一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，「她問我一個問題，然後自己回答了，過後又花半個小時跟我解釋為什麼我的答案是錯的。」
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道這個諺語嗎？
一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
「沒有關系，」一位先生說，「不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：『吠狗不咬人。』」
「啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？」
⑺ 急求一份幽默詼諧式的英語口語二人對話範文
經典對話一：
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？）
女：Actually I』d rather have the money.（不必，我寧願留下那些錢。)
經典對話二：
男：Can I have your name?（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？）
女：Why? Don』t you already have one? （為什麼？你不是已經有一個了嗎？）
經典對話三：
男：I』m a photographer. I』ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I』m a plastic surgeon. I』ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：
男：Is this seat empty?（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
經典對話五：
男：Haven』t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什麼地方見過你？）
女：Yes. That』s why I don』t go there anymore.（是的。這就是為什麼我不再去那個地方的原因。）
經典對話六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？）
女：Sorry. I』m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。這個周末我頭疼。）
經典對話七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能讓你非常快樂。）
女：Why? Are you leaving?（是嗎？你是說你要離開？）
⑻ 英語口語考試，有五個情景對話，求大神給出劇本，三分鍾，英文最好，中文也行，但求幽默
（自言自語）哦，真是糟糕，居然找不到路了。。（突然看到一個正在看書的女生）你好，同學！我是外國佬，第一次來這里，我可以問你個問題嗎？
(automatic speaking) Oh, really bad, I can't find the way.. (suddenly saw a girl is read a Book) Hello, students! I am the foreigner, come here for the first time, may I ask you a question?
（抬起頭）額，什麼事？
(Tai Qitou) well, what is it?
啊哈，世界之大，能遇見你這樣的姑娘真是榮幸啊~~額，（撓頭）能告訴我，去廁所的路嗎？
Ah, the world is big, can meet you this girl is really honored ah ~ ~ well, (might) tell me, go to the toilet of the road?
哦，天哪，你是眼花了嗎？我是女生，怎麼會去過男廁所呢？我當然不知道啦
Oh, God, you are dazed? I am a girl, how could have been men's toilet? Of course I don't know
額，在中國，廁所不是在一起的嗎？。。。
Well, in China, toilet not together?...
哦，當然不是。這里可沒有你那裡那麼開放
Oh, of course not. Here without you there so open
好吧，我不是那個意思。那麼，女廁所在哪裡呢？
OK. I didn't mean that. So, where is the toilet?
什麼！？你要去女廁所！？
Sorry? Do you want to go to the toilet!?
哦，不，我很急，你能快點告訴我嗎？
Oh, no, I'm in a hurry, can you tell me?
好吧，說實話，我也不是本地人，我剛剛來這里度假，所以我無法回答你的問題，抱歉咯
Well, to tell you the truth, I have not a native, I just came here for a holiday, so I can't answer your question, I'm sorry
額……
The amount of......
⑼ 求美劇中兩人的搞笑對話~英語口語課要用，2到3分鍾就好！
1、 我不需要那些不如我的人對我的肯定。
1、i don』t need validation from lesser minds.
2、 火箭科學家?火箭科學家?你怎麼不幹脆告訴他們我在金門大橋收過路費?我是研究弦論的理論物理學家。火箭科學家!太侮辱人了!
2、The rocket scientist? The rocket scientist? Why don』t you just tell them that I』m a toll-taker at the golden gate bridge? I』m a theoretical physicist. Rocket scientist, how humiliating!
3、 我覺得我更像一隻杜鵑，你知道的，把蛋下在普通鳥巢里的一種更高等的生物。當然，新生的杜鵑把所有的食物都吃掉了，它那些平凡的同胞只能餓死。對你來說很幸運，比喻到此就結束了。
3、I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird, you know a superior creature whose egg is placed in the nest of ordinary birds, of course, the newly hatched cuckoo eats all the food, leaving the ordinary siblings to starve to death. Luckily for you, that』s where the metaphor ended.
4、 我為人類悲哀。
4、I weep for humanity.
5、 從我媽給我斷奶後我就沒忘掉過一件事。
5、I haven』t forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.
6、 我是「聰明人」?要被歸為「聰明人」我得去掉60點智商才行。
6、I』m 「smart」? I』d have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as 「smart」.
7、 你們那艘要沉的船上又招募了什麼老鼠啊?
7、What rat have you recruited to the sinking ship?
8、 我是松香甘油樹脂(一種有機黏合劑)，你是無機合劑，所以不管你朝我的方向發射什麼語言子彈都會反射以後彈回去，回到它原有的軌道上，附著在你身上。
8、I』m polymerized tree sap, and you』re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you.
9、 我沒有無視我妹妹，我無視你們所有人。
9、I』m not ignoring my sister, I』m ignoring all of you.
10、為什麼還要浪費食物?在德克薩斯，要是奶牛不產奶了他們才不會繼續喂它，他們會把它帶出去一槍打死。
Why waste food? In Texas, when a cow goes dry, they don』t keep feeding it, they just take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
可以去看看生活大爆炸。不錯的