英語幽默小故事帶翻譯和閱讀

① 英語幽默小故事帶翻譯帶問題

The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.

Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."

【譯文】

老貓

一位老婦有隻貓，這只貓很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了東西，因為它年紀太大了。一天，老貓發現一隻老鼠，它跳過去抓這只老鼠，然而，它咬不住這只老鼠。因此，老鼠從它的嘴邊溜掉了，因為老貓咬不了它。

於是，老婦很生氣，因為老貓沒有把老鼠咬死。她開始打這只貓，貓說：「不要打你的老僕人，我已經為你服務了很多年，而且還願意為你效勞，但是，我實在太老了，對年紀大的不要這么無情，要記住老年人在年青時所做過的有益的事情。」

A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the st.

He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river."

He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the st and eat them.

Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.

【譯文】

一個人正朝著一個富人的房子走去，當他沿著路走時，在路的一邊他發現一箱好蘋果，他說：「我不打算吃那些蘋果，因為富人會給我更多的食物，他會給我很好吃的東西。」然後他拿起蘋果，一把扔到土裡去。

他繼續走，來到河邊，河漲水了，因此，他到不了河對岸，他等了一會兒，然後他說：「今天我去不了富人家了，因為我不能渡過河。」

他開始回家，那天他沒有吃東西。他就開始去找吃的，他找到蘋果，很高興地把它們從塵土中翻出來吃了。

不要把好東西扔掉，換個時候你會覺得它們大有用處。

The City Mouse and the Country Mouse

Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city."

The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid.

After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid."

【譯文】

城裡老鼠和鄉下老鼠

從前，有兩只老鼠，它們是好朋友。一隻老鼠居住在鄉村，另一隻住在城裡。很多年以後，鄉下老鼠碰到城裡老鼠，它說：「你一定要來我鄉下的家看看。」於是，城裡老鼠就去了。鄉下老鼠領著它到了一塊田地上它自己的家裡。它把所有最精美食物都找出來給城裡老鼠。城裡老鼠說：「這東西不好吃，你的家也不好，你為什麼住在田野的地洞里呢？你應該搬到城裡去住，你能住上用石頭造的漂亮房子，還會吃上美味佳餚，你應該到我城裡的家看看。」

鄉下老鼠就到城裡老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的東西也為他們擺好了。可是正當他們要開始吃的時候，聽見很大的一陣響聲，城裡的老鼠叫喊起來：「快跑！快跑！貓來了！」他們飛快地跑開躲藏起來。

過了一會兒，他們出來了。當他們出來時，鄉下老鼠說：「我不喜歡住在城裡，我喜歡住在田野我的洞里。因為這樣雖然貧窮但是快樂自在，比起雖然富有卻要過著提心吊膽的生活來說，要好些。」

Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?

Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".

老師:為什麼你每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,就看見一個牌子上寫著"學校----慢行".
A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」
A little bird fly to south for the winter. It was very cold, almost frozen bird. Hence, fly to a large space, after a cow there, in a pile of cow ng upon the bird, frozen bird lying on the nghill, feel very warm, graally recovered, it is warm and comfortable lying, and soon began to sing songs, a passing wildcat hear voices, see, follow the voice, wildcats quickly found lying on the nghill, bird, pull it out.
The way of existence: not everyone to lead the ng upon your people are your enemy. Each of you is not from the nghill lire people are your friends, and, when you lying on the nghill, had better keep your mouth shut.

糞堆里的小鳥

一隻小鳥飛到南方去過冬。天很冷，小鳥幾乎凍僵了。於是，飛到一大塊空地上，一頭牛經過那兒，拉了一堆牛糞在小鳥的身上，凍僵的小鳥躺在糞堆里，覺得很溫暖，漸漸蘇醒過來，它溫暖而舒服的躺著，不久唱起歌來，一隻路過的野貓聽到聲音，走過去看個究竟，循著聲音，野貓很快發現了躺在糞堆里的小鳥，把它拽出來吃掉了。
生存之道：不是每個往你身上拉大糞的人都是你的敵人。也不是每個把你從糞堆里拉出來的人都是你的朋友，還有，當你躺在糞堆里時，最好把你的嘴閉上。

② 英語幽默小故事，200詞，帶翻譯，急用！

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobil phone but discovered that she was out of credit ;she instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at the construction site.
After her son had called ,he got back to mummy to infrom her that it was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile . Women! She watied impatiently for her husband to return from the construction site .The moment she sighted him,she gave him a very hot slap.While the man was trying to ask why ,she repeated the slap.People from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of his .
The man asked his son to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called,he said,"The number you are trying to call is not reachable at the moment.Please try again later".
一個婦女想打丈夫的手機找他，但是發現她的手機余額不足，於是她吩咐兒子用他自己的手機給正在建築工地上的爸爸打電話傳遞緊急信息。
兒子打完後，回到媽媽的身邊說，他打了爸爸的手機三次，一位女士接了三次。女人！她心急火燎地等丈夫從建築工地回來。她一看見丈夫就給了他熱辣辣的一巴掌。男人正要問個究竟，她又扇了他一巴掌。街坊鄰居都跑過來想弄清楚事情的原因。
男人讓兒子告訴大家，他打電話時那個女人說了什麼。他回答說；「你所撥打的電話暫時無法接通。請稍後再撥。」

③ 求英文幽默小故事 少一點 越少越好 帶中文翻譯

1 理所當然
Taken for Granted
THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word "Sex" had been spelled with an "o". One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to "Sox": "Usually brown."
某學校發給學生的健康調查表裡有個錯別字——把「性別」的「性」字寫成了「襪」字。一位母親在為她的兒子填寫表格時，在「襪別」的那欄填上了：「棕色為主。」
[注] 英語 中sex（性）與sox（襪）只有一個字母之差。
2 一隻小貓
Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.
" What\'s in your box?" asked the friend.
"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I\'ve been dreaming about mice at night and I\'m so scared! This cat is to catch them."
"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友，她拿著一個頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子。 「盒子里裝的是什麼？」朋友問道。 「一隻小貓，」 布朗夫人回答說，「你知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠。」 「可老鼠都是假想的呀。」朋友說。 「小貓也是假想的。」 布朗夫人小聲說道。
3 約會
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
在湯姆工作的大樓里有一個咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因為這位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。一天她又對湯姆招手並示意湯姆過去。於是湯姆走了過去。她問道，「您現在是單身嗎？」 「對，是單身，」湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。 「我母親也是，」她說，「您願不願意見見她？」

④ 帶翻譯的英語幽默小短文4篇

1,Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

兩只鳥

老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一隻是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？

學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老師：請說說看。

學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

2. The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

魚網

"你能告訴我魚網是什麼做的嗎，安？" 老師發問道。

"把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。" 小女孩回答道。

3. The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新老師

9月1日， 喬治放學回到家裡。

"喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎？" 媽媽問。

"媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。"

4. A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考試

在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。

這個問題是：為什麼在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電後聽到雷聲？

尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在後

⑤ 英語幽默小故事帶翻譯200字以上10篇

1. Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中間戰術
三個互相爭生意的商店老闆在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：「大減價!」「特便宜!」
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：「大砍價!」「大折扣!」
中間的商人隨後准備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：「入口處」。
2. Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I「m going abroad tomorrow, but I「d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I「ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that「s all right," answered Joan. "I「m his sister."
"I「m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I「m his mother!"
在第二次世界大戰中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個大軍營中工作，當然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說，"我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會很高興。"瓊同意了，於是他們幾個月里一直通著信。
後來，他再沒有來信。她收到了另一個軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個部隊醫院里。
瓊到了醫院，她對護士長說，"我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯。"
"這里只有親屬可以探望病人。"護士長說。
"噢，是的，"瓊說，"我是他的妹妹。"
"很高興認識你，"護士長說，"我是他的母親。"
希望能幫助到您，望採納！

⑥ 英語幽默故事帶翻譯

這樣可以嗎 ？

Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?

Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".

老師:為什麼你每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,就看見一個牌子上寫著"學校----慢行".
A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」

⑦ 英語幽默小故事50字左右（帶翻譯）

1. Q: Why won』t the elephant use the computer?

為什麼大象不玩電腦？

A: He』s afraid of the mouse!

他害怕老鼠！

滑鼠和老鼠的英文皆為mouse。

mouse [maʊs]n. 滑鼠；老鼠；膽小羞怯的人

2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。

"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."

"Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to smoke in the next few days." The doctor said.

一位很焦急的病人走到醫生辦公室尋求幫助。

「醫生，我不知道該怎麼辦。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。」

「哦，不用擔心。你一定要牢記未來幾天不要吸煙就行了。」醫生說。

3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.

He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."

"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一個男人在街上被計程車撞倒送進了醫院.

他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."

醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."

聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."

妻子說:"安靜,醫生比你懂得多."

4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"

And God says: "A penny".

Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"

And God says: "a second",

Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"

And God says "In a second".

一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.

他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"

上帝回答:"一便士."

男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"

上帝說:"一秒鍾."

最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"

上帝回答:"過一秒鍾."

5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？

約翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了傷。

湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒？

約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。

6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問，「發生了什麼事？」

「一個男孩咬了我一口，」伊凡說。

「再見到他你能認出來嗎？」媽媽問。

「他走到哪裡我都能認出他，」伊凡說。「他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。」