英語文章閱讀百度

A. 簡單的英文短文

1.Yesterday was my birthday, so some of my classmates sent me presents. Mother prepared a tea party for me. I invited all of them to come and take part in it.The tea party began at half past six. There were cold drinks and refreshments. We ate, talked and laughed. We felt that we were the happiest men in the world
昨天是我生日，所以有幾位我的同班同學送我禮。母親給我准備一個茶會。我邀請他們都前來參加。茶會下午六點半開始。有冷飲和點心。我們又吃又談又笑。我們覺得是世界上最快樂的人。。

2.I like the Chinese new year better than any other festival. This is a time especially for rest and joy. I need not study. I wear good clothes and eat good food. I have a good time from morning till night. I am as happy as a king.
我喜歡中國新年比喜歡其它任何節日更甚。這是一個專為休息和歡樂的時間。我不需要讀書。我穿好衣服，吃好東西。我每天從早到晚日子過得輕松愉快。我和上帝一樣快樂。

3.No sooner had the witer vacation begun than I returned to my native town. Of course I
must make good use of it;.In the morning I reviewed my lessons and read newspapers or magazines. In the afternoon I played ball games with my friends or went fishing in the river. At night I watched television with my family. hardly had the clock on the wall struck ten when I went to bed.
寒假剛一開始，我就回故鄉了。自然我須好好利用它。 早晨我復習功課並閱讀報紙或雜志。下午我和朋友打球，或去河中釣魚。晚上我就和家人看看電視。牆上的鍾剛敲十下，我就去睡覺了。

4.I live very happily today! In the morning, it is very fine! Then I climb the mountain with family, the air on the mountain is very fresh, the flowers plants and trees on the mountain all seem extremely beautiful. Coming back home in the evening, family and I sat and watched TV together, we are returning and eating the fruit while chatting, the whole family is happy and harmonious!
今天我過得非常開心！早上，天氣非常好！於是我和家人一起去登山，山上的空氣非常清新，山上的花草樹木都顯得格外美麗。晚上回到家，我與家人坐在一起看電視，我們還一邊聊天一邊吃著水果，全家其樂融融！

B. 英語閱讀文章

小學英語英語閱讀

(一)
My name is Wang Ling. I『m a girl. I』m twelve. I』m in Class Three. Grade One, My nother and my father are teachers. Miss Gao is my English teacher. I think she is twenty – five. She is a good teacher. I like her.
( )1.Wang Ling is in Class Two, Grade One.
( )2.Her mother is a teacher.
( )3.Miss Gao is her Chinese teacher.
( )4.Miss Gao is twenty – five.
( )5.Wang Ling isn』t a boy.
(二)
Wu Dong has a good friend. His name is Peter. He is from the U.S.A Wu Dong and Peter are in the same class. They go to school five days a week. They stay at home on Sunday and Saturday. Peter likes China and Chinese food. He likes rice cakes very much. At school they play table tennis (乒乓球)after class.
Wu Dong and Peter likes making things. Now they are making a plane. They like flying planes on Sunday morning. Peter speaks English and a little Chinese. Wu Dong speaks Chinese and a little English. They teach each other. (互相)
（ ）、Wu Dong has an American friend.
（ ）2、They go to school from Monday to Friday.
（ ）3、They often fly planes after class.
（ ）4、Wu Dong teaches Peter English and Peter teaches Wu Dong Chinese.
（ ）5、Peter often eats rice cakes because he likes eating them.

（三）
閱讀短文，判斷正誤（對的寫T, 錯的寫F）
This is Billy and his brother』s bedroom. It』s not very big, but it is tidy（整潔）.There are two beds in the room. There is a desk between（在……中間）the beds. There are some books on the desk. Some are English books. Some are Chinese books. There is a phone on the desk, too. There are two chairs beside the desk. One is for Billy, and the other（另一把）is for his brother. There is a map of America on the wall. There is a map of the world on the wall, too. Billy and his brother like their bedroom very much.
True or False:
( ) 1. The bedroom is small, and it』s clean.
( ) 2. There are two desks in the bedroom.
( ) 3. There are some Chinese books on the desk.
( ) 4. There are two maps on the wall.
( ) 5. There isn』t a phone in the bedroom.
( ) 6. The chairs are for Billy and his brother.

（四）
閱讀短文，判斷正誤。（對的寫T, 錯的寫F）
We have a two-month holiday every summer. It starts in July and ends in August. During(在…期間) this summer holiday. I went traveling out of Nanjing with Sue. She is my good friend. We went to Shanghai by boat. We had a good time there. My classmates were all at home. They did their homework and watched a lot of TV. They told me they didn』t like traveling.
（ ）1、The summer holiday starts in June and ends in August.
（ ）2、We took a boat to Shanghai.
（ ）3、We had a lot of fun in Shanghai.
（ ）4、My classmates stayed at home.
（ ）5、My classmates like traveling.
（五）
閱讀判斷正誤，正確的在括弧內填「T」，否則填「F」
Hi, everyone. Here is the weather report. It』s an interesting day today for weather around the country.
Look! It』s sunny in Beijing, but rainy in Jinan. It』s fine and cloudy in Qing. It』s raining in Shanghai. It』s warm in Guangzhou and Fuzhou. It』s cool in Xi』an and Shenyang .It』s cold in Harbin. It』s hot in Shenzhen and Hongkong.
That』s the weather report for today. Thank you for watching.
( )1、The radio is giving the weather report .
( )2、It』s fine in Beijing today.
( )3、You may play volleyball outside in Xi』an.
( )4、You can go to Shanghai today.
( )5、You can go to the park in Fuzhou.

（六）
閱讀判斷正誤，正確的在括弧內填「T」，否則填「F」
Mary is an American school girl. She is ten years old. Now she and her parents(父母) are in Shanghai. Her parents teach English in our school. They are very kind. Mary is a good pupil. She is good at math. She is clever. Now she can speak a little Chinese.
( ) 1 Mary is from America.
( ) Her father is a Chinese teacher.
( ) 3 Mary is in Shanghai now.
( ) 4 She isn』t good at math.
( ) 5 Mary can speak a lot of Chinese
（七）
閱讀判斷正誤，正確的在括弧內填「T」，否則填「F」
Wu Dong has a good friend. His name is Peter. He is from the U.S.A Wu Dong and Peter are in the same class. They go to school five days a week. They stay at home on Sunday and Saturday. Peter likes China and Chinese food. He likes rice cakes very much. At school they play table tennis (乒乓球)after class.

Wu Dong and Peter likes making things. Now they are making a plane. They like flying planes on Sunday morning. Peter speaks English and a little Chinese. Wu Dong speaks Chinese and a little English. They teach each other. (互相)
（ ）1、Wu Dong has an American friend.
（ ）2、They go to school from Monday to Friday.
（ ）3、They often fly planes after class.
（ ）4、Wu Dong teaches Peter English and Peter teaches Wu Dong Chinese.
（ ）5、Peter often eats rice cakes because he likes eating them.

（八）
I'm Fangfang.I live in a village. It's small but beautiful..
Look! That is my house. There are some trees near it. Behind the house
there's a big river. You can see some boats on the river. Many cks are
beside the boats. How lovely! Oh, many flowers are between the trees.
Let's get some to our teachers.
( )1.Fangfang's house is small.
( )2.There's a small river behind the house.
( )3.There are some boats on the river.
( )4.What lovely cks they are!
( )5.Some flowers between the trees are for our English teachers。

（九）
完型填空
Mrs. White__1__in a school. It is Sunday. She has__2__classes. At eight in the morning, she
__3__to a shop and buys a nice dress. She puts it in her bag and then buys__4__cakes for her children. At eleven she__5__home. She wants to put on her new dress, but she__6__find her bag. She calls the shop assistant (售貨員), 「Hello, Mrs. Black. This is Mrs. White. Can you help__7__ find my bag?__8__in your shop.」
「Of course, Mrs. White,」 says the assistant. 「We found three bags here. But which one is__9__?」
「I』m__10__,」 says Mrs. White, 」 I can tell you which one is mine.」
1. A. work B. works C. working D. study
2. A. not B. any C. some D. no
3. A. walks B. go C. walking D. walk
4. A. a piece B. a little C. some D. much
5. A. gets to B. gets C. get D. get to
6. A. can B. don』t C. can』t D. isn』t
7. A. I B. my C. mine D. me
8. A. It』s B. Its C. They』re D. He』s
9. A. you B. your C. mine D. yours
10. A. go B. come C. coming D. coming

（十）
完形填空
younger older of gray glasses
This is a picture ____ my grandmother. She is eighty years old.She has _____ hair and she wears ________ . She loves me very much and I love her very much,too.
WangLin is twelve years old,Jenny is twenty years old and Li Ming is fourteen years old. Wang Lin is ____ than Jenny. Jenny is ____ than Li Ming,but ____ than WangLin.

（十一）
判斷對（T）錯（F）
ZhangLin is a boy. He』s twelve years old. His English is very good.Because his mother is an English teacher. His favouriter clothes is a yellow shirt. It』s very nice. He likes to play foot ball with his friends. He always go to school by bus.On Sundays we offten play and study together. We are good friends.
1. Zhang Lin』s mother is a Chinese teacher. ( )
2. He likes a yellow shirt. ( )
3. He always goes to school by bike. ( )
4. Zhang Lin is twelve years old. ( )
5. He is my good friend. ( )

（十二）
介詞填空
to in of with at on far
1. Look ____ her hair.It』s red.
2. I live _____ China.
3. She goes to work_______ her bicycle.
4. They go _____ a walk after supper.
5. This is a picture _____ my family.
6. I like to play checkers______ my uncle.
7. Do you go to the gym ____ play badminton?

（十三）
閱讀選擇
Li Ming has two good friends from Canada. They are rose and Mike. Their country is very far from China.
They are in the same school,but they are not in the same class(班) .Li Ming and Rose are in Class One. They live in the same building. It is a little far from their school. They ride their bicycles to school and ride home together every day.
( )1.Where are Rose and Mike from?
A. The U.K. B.Canada C.Australia
( )2.Li Ming and Mike are _____.
A.in the same class B.not in the same school
C. not in the same class.
( )3.They live ______.
A. very far from their school B.near their school
C.in one building
4.They go to school and come home ____ every day.
A. by bicycle B.by bus C. by car

（十四）
閱讀判斷對（T）錯（F）
Hello，my name is Jimmy. I』m eleven . I am in Class Five,Grad (年級)Six.Now let me tell you some thing about my family. There are three people in my family. My father my mother and I .My father is a worker and my mother is a worker ,too.And they are both good workers, I am a good student. My father and mother love me very much. I love them very much,too. We have a new car. It』s green. I like it very much.
1.We have an old car. ( )
2.I』m in class six, Grand Five ( )
3.There are three people in my family. ( )
4.My father and mother are both worker. ( )
5.I don』t like our car. ( )

C. 英語短文閱讀理解

（1） 算出你需要多少錢，並帶上足夠的錢。
（2）important need
I need make a shopping list, take enough money and carry my own shopping bags.
意思相版近的句子： There are many nice things in the shopping mall,but what you really need is only some of them.
主題句：權 Here are some shopping tips for you

D. 英語閱讀理解文章

做英語閱讀原則：讀的進去，還要跳的出來。要明白文章的結構和作者回的寫作意圖，你就是拿著文答章只管讀，而沒有去思考為什麼這樣寫以及文章結構而造成的。都文章要有整體意識，讀的進去，還要跳的出來。希望能幫到你！

E. 有哪些閱讀英文文章，短文的app

可以試下知米背單詞APP哈！

其中：1，「閱讀」部分根據不同群體的興趣愛好回分為不同階段、不答同類型的文章，（比如：初中、高中、四六級、研一研二、托福、雅思、新聞、雙語漫讀、名著等）滿足用戶不同需求。

4，Last but not least，所有素材資源都是免費提供給愛學習的小夥伴們！

說了這么多，還是要自己體驗一下，才有體會，加油！

F. 有哪些閱讀英語文章的app

可以閱讀英語文章的app有：有道e讀、扇貝閱讀、ZoReader、愛洋蔥、阿西吧少兒英語app，比較推薦阿西吧。

可以去阿西吧的APP裡面免費領取到一節少兒英語課程，最主要是跟著外教一對一的口語對話，現在分享他們的試聽課給大家，點擊免費領取：【https://www.acadsoc.com】

阿西吧少兒英語app主要是針對少兒的各個年齡階段，是一個比較全面的學習app。從簡單的字母入門再到難一點的情景對話，這個app有著豐富的配音內容，多元化的一些英語情景，圖片多文字少的一個教學，為少年兒童甚至大人提供了一個輕松學英語的平台。

通過這個阿西吧少兒英語app，孩子們可以直接用手機在上面預約課程，然後上課，選課，優勢還可以取消課程，非常方便。足不出戶就可以學習到英語，讓大人也省去了很多配送孩子來回奔波的時間，讓家長省心。而且它還擁有很多美劇影片可以提供給少兒觀看和學習，還有智能的語音打分系統可以糾正少兒的發音問題。

還有其他什麼學習問題，可以網路搜「阿西吧vivi老師」為您分析解答。

想要更多的英語學習資源，可以網路搜「阿西吧官網論壇」免費下載。

G. 英語閱讀小短文

以下為本人精心解答，還望樓主滿意^_^
1.
What
does
the
monster
in
Loch
Ness
look
like?
It
looks
like
a
dinosaur.
（它看起來像一隻恐龍。）
2.
What
did
Robert
Kenneth
Wilson
do
in
1934?
He
gave
a
newspaper
a
photo
of
the
monster.
（他給了回一家報紙一張這答個怪獸的照片。）
3.
How
did
Christian
Spurling
surprise
everyone?
He
said
the
photo
of
the
Loch
Ness
Monster
was
a
fake.
（他說這張尼斯湖水怪的照片是假的。）
4.
How
are
many
tricks
and
jokes
spread
today?
They
are
spread
using
e-mail.
（它們是通過電子郵件的使用而得以傳播的。）
5.
What
do
you
thank
of
tricks
and
jokes
like
today?
Some
can
be
funny,
but
others
can
cause
trouble.
（一些很有趣，不過另外一些可能會製造麻煩。）

H. 英語閱讀短文

1. c

2. a

3. d

4. b

5. a
   

I. 英語短文閱讀

At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.

His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.

"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"

"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."

世界上最偉大的擊劍手

在一場世界最佳擊劍手錶演中，排名第三的擊劍手上場了。一隻蒼蠅放了出來，劍劃了一個弧，他將蒼蠅劈成了兩半。觀眾歡呼起來。緊接著排名第二的人將一隻蒼蠅切成了四半。現場一陣沉默，人們期盼著世界上最偉大的擊劍手出場。

他的劍鋒以一個巨大的弧線劃了下來－－然而那隻昆蟲還在繼續飛行!觀眾被驚呆了。最偉大的擊劍手完全錯過了他的目標，然而他還在微笑著。

「你為什麼這么高興？」有人嚷道，「你沒擊中!」

「啊，」劍手答道，「你剛才沒有很仔細地看。蒼蠅還活著，是的－－但他永遠也做不成爸爸了。」
—————————————————————————————————————————
A Mistake

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."

"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

"Where are the others?" asked a medic.

"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."

搞錯了

一位美國人，一位英格蘭人和一位加拿大人在一場車禍中喪生。他們到達天堂的門口。在那裡，醉醺醺的聖彼德解釋說是搞錯了。「每人給我五百美元，」他說，「我將把你們送回人間，就象什麼都沒有發生過一樣。」

「成交!」美國人說。立刻，他發現自己毫不損傷地站在現場附近。

「其他人在哪兒？」一名醫生問道。

「我離開之前，」那名美國人說，「我看見英格蘭人正在砍價，而那名加拿大人正在分辯說應該由他的政府來出這筆錢。」
————————————————————————————————————————
Pig or Witch

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.

豬還是女巫

一個男人在一條陡峭狹窄的山路上駕車，一個女人相向駕車而來。他們相遇時，那個女的從窗中伸出頭來叫到：「豬！！」那個男的立即從窗中伸出頭來回敬道：「女巫！！」他們繼續前行。這個男的在下一個路口轉彎時，撞上了路中間的一頭豬。要是這個男的能聽懂那個女人的意思就好了。
—————————————————————————————————————————
Response Ability

An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."

Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

答問技巧

衣阿華州奧格根的一位牧師正在與一位教友為一杯咖啡而猜硬幣。別人問他那是否構成賭博行為時，牧師答道：「這僅僅是決定由誰來做一件善事的一種科學方法。」

當我人問哲學家羅素是否願意為了他的信仰而獻身時，他答道：「當然不會。畢竟，我可能會是錯的。」

一份報紙組織了一場競賽，為下面的問題徵集最佳答案：「如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將救出哪一幅？」
獲獎的答案是：「最接近門口的那一幅。」
————————————————————————————————————————
Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.

"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"

偉大的獵手Jonesie

有個小村莊正為一隻吃人的獅子而煩惱。於是，村長派人去請偉大的獵手Jonesie來殺死這只野獸。

獵手躺著等了幾個晚上，但獅子一直沒有出現。最後，他要求村長殺只羊然後把頭皮給他。把羊皮披在身上後，獵人到草原上去等獅子。

半夜，村民被從草原傳來的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近後，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒有獅子出沒的蛛絲馬跡。

「Jonesie，怎麼了？獅子在哪？」村長問。

「哪有獅子！」獵人怒吼道，「哪個傻瓜把公牛放出來了？」
————————————————————————————————————————
Weather Predict

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.

A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.

"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.

However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.

Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"

The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."

天氣預報

一個電影攝制組在沙漠深處工作.一天,一個印度老人到導演跟前告訴導演說"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.

一周後,印度人又來告訴導演說,"明天有風暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.

"印度人真神,"導演說.他告訴秘書僱傭該印度人來預報天氣.

幾次預報都很成功.然後,接下來的兩周,印度人不見了.

最後,導演派人去把他叫來了."我明天必須拍一個很大的場景,"導演說,"這得靠你了.明天天氣如何啊?"

印度人聳了聳肩."我不知道,"印度人說,"收音機壞了."
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I Am Acting Like a Lady

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.

He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.

"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

我要表現得象位女士

一天，遠東百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給太太買一件。可是，沒過多久，他發現自己已被瘋狂的女人沖得踉踉蹌蹌。

他竭力忍耐著。後來，他低下頭，揮動雙臂，擠過人群。

「你幹嘛？」有人尖聲叫道，「你難道不能表現得象位紳士嗎？」

「聽著，」他說，「我已經象紳士一樣表現了一個小時。從現在起，我要表現得象個女士。」
這樣可以么?很多哦

回答者： 寒蟬鳴泣の時 - 魔法師 四級 2009-5-19 21:06
1。Today and friends of foreign travel, outside air is very good, people feel very comfortable. We all appreciate the fine girls bicycles. We enjoyed the beautiful nature brought. We happily spent a happy day. 今天和朋友一起出外交遊，外面的空氣很好，人感覺很舒服。我們騎著自行車一路欣賞鳥語花香。享受著大自然帶給我們的無限美好。大家開開心心地度過了愉快的一天。

2。Today Mailehaoo clothes, and parents take to the streets is happy, the parents have to pay to buy things. Unlike in their street to buy things they like to take a long time but saw the price, Ha-ha, is really very happy. I love my parents, I too thank them for the care and love. `` 今天買了好多衣服，和父母上街就是愉快，買東西有父母幫付錢。不像平時自己上街買東西碰到喜歡的但看了價錢都要考慮好久，呵呵，真的是很開心。我愛我的父母，太感謝他們對我的關心和愛戴了。
3.Flute " Robinson Crusoe " of good fortune, novelist of British, describe protagonist drift about on the island, overcome the difficulty, the legend story of pioneering an enterprise with painstaking efforts. Novel write true naturally, legendary. The protagonist plants the crops on the detached island, puts up the log cabin, has eaten the innumerable trials and tribulations, survive. Want, go back human world anxious, want to go how about go out of these damnable place only like make him to be fascinated, result fail, get back to, long separated for Britain for 28 year give me enlightenment by " Robinson's records of adventure " on 1868 year finally, tanacity of him let me wait for a chance to cause trouble, want, march toward another goal for life, look like Robinson like that spend one's own strength,reach ideal realm one's own. We need possess Robinson so spirit of struggle diligently.
英國小說家笛福的《魯濱遜漂流記》描述了主人公漂流海島,戰勝困難,艱苦創業的傳奇故事. 小說寫得真實自然,富有傳奇色彩.主人公在孤島上種莊稼,搭木屋,吃了千辛萬苦,生存下來.但想回人間的心切,使他著迷般地只想到如何走出這個鬼地方,結果還是失敗了,最後於1868年回到闊別28年的英國
《魯濱孫漂流記》給我以啟示，他的頑強讓我蠢蠢欲動，想要邁向人生的另一目標，像魯濱孫那樣用自己的力量，到達自己理想的境界。
我們需要具備魯濱遜那樣的刻苦奮斗的精神.
The World's Greatest Swordsman

At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.

His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.

"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"

"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."

世界上最偉大的擊劍手

在一場世界最佳擊劍手錶演中，排名第三的擊劍手上場了。一隻蒼蠅放了出來，劍劃了一個弧，他將蒼蠅劈成了兩半。觀眾歡呼起來。緊接著排名第二的人將一隻蒼蠅切成了四半。現場一陣沉默，人們期盼著世界上最偉大的擊劍手出場。

他的劍鋒以一個巨大的弧線劃了下來－－然而那隻昆蟲還在繼續飛行!觀眾被驚呆了。最偉大的擊劍手完全錯過了他的目標，然而他還在微笑著。

「你為什麼這么高興？」有人嚷道，「你沒擊中!」

「啊，」劍手答道，「你剛才沒有很仔細地看。蒼蠅還活著，是的－－但他永遠也做不成爸爸了。」
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A Mistake

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."

"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

"Where are the others?" asked a medic.

"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."

搞錯了

一位美國人，一位英格蘭人和一位加拿大人在一場車禍中喪生。他們到達天堂的門口。在那裡，醉醺醺的聖彼德解釋說是搞錯了。「每人給我五百美元，」他說，「我將把你們送回人間，就象什麼都沒有發生過一樣。」

「成交!」美國人說。立刻，他發現自己毫不損傷地站在現場附近。

「其他人在哪兒？」一名醫生問道。

「我離開之前，」那名美國人說，「我看見英格蘭人正在砍價，而那名加拿大人正在分辯說應該由他的政府來出這筆錢。」
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Pig or Witch

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.

豬還是女巫

一個男人在一條陡峭狹窄的山路上駕車，一個女人相向駕車而來。他們相遇時，那個女的從窗中伸出頭來叫到：「豬！！」那個男的立即從窗中伸出頭來回敬道：「女巫！！」他們繼續前行。這個男的在下一個路口轉彎時，撞上了路中間的一頭豬。要是這個男的能聽懂那個女人的意思就好了。
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Response Ability

An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."

Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

答問技巧

衣阿華州奧格根的一位牧師正在與一位教友為一杯咖啡而猜硬幣。別人問他那是否構成賭博行為時，牧師答道：「這僅僅是決定由誰來做一件善事的一種科學方法。」

當我人問哲學家羅素是否願意為了他的信仰而獻身時，他答道：「當然不會。畢竟，我可能會是錯的。」

一份報紙組織了一場競賽，為下面的問題徵集最佳答案：「如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將救出哪一幅？」
獲獎的答案是：「最接近門口的那一幅。」
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Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.

"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"

偉大的獵手Jonesie

有個小村莊正為一隻吃人的獅子而煩惱。於是，村長派人去請偉大的獵手Jonesie來殺死這只野獸。

獵手躺著等了幾個晚上，但獅子一直沒有出現。最後，他要求村長殺只羊然後把頭皮給他。把羊皮披在身上後，獵人到草原上去等獅子。

半夜，村民被從草原傳來的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近後，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒有獅子出沒的蛛絲馬跡。

「Jonesie，怎麼了？獅子在哪？」村長問。

「哪有獅子！」獵人怒吼道，「哪個傻瓜把公牛放出來了？」
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Weather Predict

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.

A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.

"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.

However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.

Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"

The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."

天氣預報

一個電影攝制組在沙漠深處工作.一天,一個印度老人到導演跟前告訴導演說"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.

一周後,印度人又來告訴導演說,"明天有風暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.

"印度人真神,"導演說.他告訴秘書僱傭該印度人來預報天氣.

幾次預報都很成功.然後,接下來的兩周,印度人不見了.

最後,導演派人去把他叫來了."我明天必須拍一個很大的場景,"導演說,"這得靠你了.明天天氣如何啊?"

印度人聳了聳肩."我不知道,"印度人說,"收音機壞了."
——————————————————————————————————————————
I Am Acting Like a Lady

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.

He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.

"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

我要表現得象位女士

一天，遠東百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給太太買一件。可是，沒過多久，他發現自己已被瘋狂的女人沖得踉踉蹌蹌。

他竭力忍耐著。後來，他低下頭，揮動雙臂，擠過人群。

「你幹嘛？」有人尖聲叫道，「你難道不能表現得象位紳士嗎？」

「聽著，」他說，「我已經象紳士一樣表現了一個小時。從現在起，我要表現得象個女士。」

J. 有哪些閱讀英語文章的app

不同於APP內的自主學習，照本宣讀，外教一對一在線授課的形式更能抓住孩子專的注意力！屬課程設置在合理的25分鍾，「孩子坐不住，注意力渙散」都不存在的！經驗豐富的外教老師更加懂得如何去引導孩子加入自己的英語學習小課堂，寓教於樂的方式只會讓孩子覺得「歡樂的時光總是那麼短暫」！

這里就把阿西吧自主研發的免費【熊出沒趣味體驗課】分享給家長們！點擊藍字即可體驗！阿西吧自主研發課程課件，結合方特動漫的熊出沒系列動畫，為孩子帶來真正意義上的寓教於樂！有了優秀的教材也需要有優秀的老師來進行指導教學，這樣才能進步的很快。

對於孩子的學習，vivi老師始終堅信一句話：興趣是最好的老師。因此無論選擇哪家機構，都要根據孩子的學習興趣、學習狀態、個人計劃，再結合家長自身的經濟實力等多方面因素來考量。關於選課的問題還猶豫不決的家長，如果需要更詳細具體的意見，可以在選課之前找我聊聊，網路搜索vivi老師就可以找到我，我會盡最大努力幫你避雷。