適合小學生閱讀的英語笑話

A. 小學生英語笑話

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子會和跳蚤有什麼不同呢？你可能會直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。但版除此之外呢，那就是權猴子身上可以長跳蚤，而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。這個答案很有意思吧？

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

如果你踩了農夫的玉米或是穀物，他肯定會生氣的；而如果你踩了農夫腳底的雞眼，他會更生氣。Corn既可以表示「玉米/穀物」，也有「雞眼」的意思。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

因為snail（蝸牛）的後背上總是背著一所房子，所以說蝸牛是世界上最強壯的生物是不足為奇的。你說呢？

B. 適合小學生閱讀的英語笑話

1. Virtue

Many years after receiving my graate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."
美 德

獲取研究生學位多年以後，我回到位於賓翰頓的紐約州立大學當教員。一天，電梯里很擁擠，有人抱怨電梯效率太低。我說自我在那裡當學生起，20年來電梯一直沒有換過。

最後當電梯門打開時，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回過頭來我看到一位年長的修女正在朝我微笑。「你會拿到學位的，親愛的，」她低聲說道：「堅持不懈是一種美德。」
2. Difference

"I can always tell a graate class from an undergraate class," observed the instructor in one of my graate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graate students just write it down."
區 別

「研究生班和本科生很容易就能區別開來，」在洛杉磯加利福利亞州立大學給我們研究生上工程學課的老師如此說。「我說『下午好』，本科生們回答說『下午好』。研究生們則把我說的話記在筆記本上。」
3.Too Long

The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive. Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long."

太久

一家報紙的旅行版編輯打開電話，說她終於決定要採用一篇我幾年前寫的文章。她想確定那旅遊信息是否還可靠。「我還想確定，」她怯怯地坦白道：「您是否還健在。每次發現作者已經不在人世了，我才知道我將文章壓得太久了。」
4.Charge for Bread and Butter

Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.

Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services."

Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter."

The $1.50 was returned without delay.
麵包和黃油費

幾年前，我當律師的爸爸帶我去紐約的一家高檔餐館。帳單上來時，上面有1.5美元的麵包和黃油費。爸爸付了帳，連同麵包和黃油的收費一齊付了。但是第二天，他給餐館寄了一封信，說那項收費是沒有道理的。隨信還寄上了一張500美元的法律服務機構的收費單。

餐館馬上打來電話，問道：「這500美元的收費單是怎麼回事？我們從來沒有要什麼法律機構的服務。」

爸爸答道，「我也從來沒有要什麼麵包和黃油。」

那1.5美元立即就寄了回來。
5. Sleeping Pills

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."

"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠葯

鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫生，醫生給他開了一些強力安眠葯。

星期天晚上鮑勃吃了葯，睡得很好，在鬧鍾響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老闆說：「我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有。」
「好啊!」老闆吼道，「那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了？」

英文諺語大全
http://www.cqwlzx.com/Article/ShowArticle.asp?ArticleID=275

Each bird loves to hear himself sing. 鳥兒都愛聽自己唱歌。
Each day brings its own bread. 天無絕人之路。
Each man is the architect of his own fate. 命運掌握在自己手中。
Eagles catch no flies. 大人物不計較小事情。
Eagles fly alone, but sheep flock together. 鷹單飛，羊群集。
Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble. 早期的錯誤可以釀成日後的麻煩。
Early sow, early mow. 播種早的收獲早。
Early start makes easy stages. 早開始是成功的保證。
Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy and wise. 早睡早起，令人健康、富有而且聰明。

C. 適合小學生閱讀的英語小笑話要帶翻譯

1.Returning from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. "Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?"

"Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win," my husband hedged. "We just play to have fun."

Undaunted, Sare said, "Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?"

丈夫打完高爾夫球回來，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。「爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔？」

「我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，」丈夫推諉說。「我們打球只是為了開心而已。」

莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：「那麼，爸爸，誰玩的更開心呢？」
2.A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."

Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.

"That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."

一個男孩放學回家時，覺得肚子痛。「來，坐下，吃點點心，」媽媽說，「你肚子痛是因為肚子是空的。吃點東西就會好的。」

一會兒，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，說是頭痛。

「你頭痛是因為你的腦袋是空的，」他那聰明的兒子說，「裡面裝點東西，就會好的。」
3.A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.

Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.

Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"

一位年輕的母親認為，世界上還有許多受飢餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑麵包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬塗在麵包上。

母親看了女兒幾秒鍾，隨即說道，「露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃麵包加黃油，或者麵包加果醬，從來沒有麵包既加黃油又加果醬。」

露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然後她柔聲說：「您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎？」

D. 有沒有好的適合講給小孩子聽的英語笑話，中英對照的

little boy There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat. Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!" 小男孩 有一個小男孩很喜歡吸自己的手指頭，媽媽多次制止無效後，嚇唬他說：「如果你繼續這樣吸手指頭，你會變得非常胖非常胖的！」 兩周以後，媽媽的幾個朋友過來找媽媽大牌，有位孕婦，小男孩看到後突然大笑：「哈哈，我知道你為什麼會成這個樣子！」 Health Checkup An old couple goes the doctor, just to check their general health. The husband goes in first and the doctor says: "Well, Mr. Jones, you are in a perfect shape considering your age". And the man says: "Sure I am: I don't drink, I don't smoke and the good Lord takes care of me". At which point the doctor seems puzzled and says: "What do you mean?". The old man replies: "For example, last night I had to go to the toilet and God switched on the light for me, so that I wouldn't fall down." The doctor doesn't understand and asks the man to go out and let his wife in. The woman enters the room and the doctor visits her and says: "You are in a perfect shape, considering your age". At which the woman replies: "Sure I am: I don't drink, I don't smoke..." The doctor interrupts her: "... and the good Lord takes care of you, doesn't He?". "The woman looks puzzled: "What are you talking about?". The doctor explains: "Your husband told me. He says the good Lord looks after him. Like last night, when he was in the toilet and God switched on the light for him so that he wouldn't fall". The woman replies: "Good Lord, he peed in the fridge again!" 健康檢查 一對老夫婦去醫院做健康檢查，老先生先進去，醫生說：「照你的年齡來看，你的身體狀況不錯。」 老先生說：「那是當然，我不抽煙不喝酒，而且上帝也特別關心我。」 醫生很詫異，說：「上帝也很關心你是什麼意思 老先生解釋道：「比如，昨天晚上我上廁所，上帝害怕我會摔倒所以幫我把燈打開了。」 醫生不是很明白，於是他把老太太叫進來做檢查，檢查完後，醫生說：「找你的年齡來看，你的健康狀況也相當不錯。」 老太太說：「是啊，我不抽煙也不喝酒 ...」 醫生接著說：「而且上帝也很關心你？」 老太太很驚訝：「什麼？」 醫生解釋道：「剛才我問您先生，他說上帝很關心他，比如昨天晚上，他上廁所上帝主動幫他把燈打開了。」 老太太說：「天哪，他昨天又在冰箱里尿尿了！」 www.qicaipan.com 這個網站上還有好多，我也沒有全看，但是是專門的兒童網站上的小笑話，應該沒有兒童不宜的東西。

E. 簡單的英語小笑話(帶翻譯）

1、Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：這個座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。  

2、Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？ 女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。 

3、My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!  Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 

我的狗不識字。布朗夫人：哦， 親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！ 布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。」

4、My Wife Will Exchange Them。A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.   ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.  ″Makes no difference ″replied customer.   ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.  ″Any″ he responded. 

″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″ 

反正我太太明天會來換的。一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。 「您是要布的還是皮的？」售貨員問。 「沒什麼區別。」這位顧客回答。 「那您要什麼顏色的呢？」售貨員又問。「什麼顏色都成。」他回答。 「號碼呢？」 「您就隨便給我拿一副吧，」這位顧客有點不耐煩了，「反正我太太明天都會來換的。」 

5、A  physics Examination，Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.  The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?   

Nick『s answer: Because  our eyes are before ears.   

一次物理考試。在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。這個問題是：為什麼在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電後聽到雷聲？尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在後。  

6、Jim』s History Examination。Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him  things that happened before the poor boy was born.   

吉姆的歷史考試。舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎麼樣？母親：唉，糟透了。可話又說回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。 

7、he is really somebody。-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.   

他真是一個大人物。-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。-- 他真是一個大人物。干什麼的？-- 墓地守墓人。

(5)適合小學生閱讀的英語笑話擴展閱讀：

笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。其趣味有高下之分。

人類歷史上，人自從有了語言，就已經出現了開玩笑的語言，最早，人們以口相傳，後來有了文字，許多笑話便被記載下來，編書成冊。但還有很多笑話，是流傳於民間的，就當今社會，每天都有很多笑話出現，有心人如果收集，我想將來一定會有價值。

同時豐富了笑話的寶庫。隨著近十年網路和手機的飛速發展，隨之出現了網路笑話，網路流行語，給力大全，手機笑話，雷人語句，笑料聯盟等，促使笑話發展到一個新的階段。

F. 一分鍾能讀完的英語小笑話（要短，小學三年級適合）

A gentleman was invited for dinner. When he hurried there and sat down, he was happy to see a roast pig in front of his seat:"Not bad, I am next to the pig."

But then he noticed the angry fat lady sitting next to him. He faked a smile and added: "Oh I am sorry, I meant the roasted one on the table."

一位先生去赴宴遲到了，匆忙入座後，發現自己的座位正對著乳豬，於是大為高興的說：回「還不錯答，我坐在乳豬的旁邊。」這時才發現身旁的一位胖女士正怒目相視，他忙陪笑改口到：「對不起，我說的是那隻烤好的。」

G. 一分鍾能讀完的英語小笑話（小學四年級適合）

A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You』re a good boy," said the mother proudly.
"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
」昨天給你的錢干什麼了？「
」我給了一個可憐的老太婆，「他回答說。
」你真是個好孩子，「媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」
TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
湯姆的借口
老師：湯姆，您為什麼每天上學遲到？ 湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。"
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:
poisonous adj.有毒的
Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因為我剛咬了自己的舌頭。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的縮略形式。

我剛咬破自己的舌頭
「我們有毒嗎？」一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。
「是的，親愛的，」她回答說，「你問這個干什麼？」
「因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。」

H. 半分鍾能讀完的英語小笑話（要短，小學三年級適合）

我猜你是教小學的老師吧，一般三年級小孩不會用網路提問的。。。。。
如果你是老師，三年級本身水品就不是很高，這樣笑話很難找，建議你多給他們講生詞，但是笑話三年級適合的的確很少，給你提供幾個，樓主看著用吧
英語笑話故事

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他贏了
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？
約翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒？
約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問，「發生了什麼事？」
「一個男孩咬了我一口，」伊凡說。
「再見到他你能認出來嗎？」媽媽問。
「他走到哪裡我都能認出他，」伊凡說。「他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。」

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有乳酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片乳酪回到房間，把乳酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說：「孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的乳酪？」 「在捕鼠夾上，先生。」那小男孩說。

英語小笑話
上個星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一個老美看到就笑我說, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 縮寫正好是 Adidas) " 我正驚訝他怎麼反應這么快, 聯想力這么豐富時,旁邊的
一個老美幫我解圍, 他說, 有一個很著名的合唱團 Korn, 他們的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,這個典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能詳的喔! 下次就換你去取笑老美了.

I. 簡短的、適合四年級學生看的英語笑話有哪些

Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師:為什麼你每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,僦看見一個版牌子上寫著"學校----慢行權"。
sign：牌子，路標
corner：轉彎處，拐角處