你有沒有玩過別人的笑話英語寫作

1. 簡單的英語笑話

人之初：At the begining of life.
性本善：Sex is good.
性相近：Basically,all the sex are same.
習相遠：But it depends on how the way you do it.
苟不教：If you do not practise all the time.
性乃遷：Sex will leave you..

教之道：The way of learning it
貴以專：is very important to make love with only one person.

昔孟母：Once a great mother, Mrs Meng
擇鄰處：chose her neighbour to avoid bad sex influence.

子不學：If you don't study hard,
斷機杼：Your Dick will become useless.

竇燕山 Dou, the Famous
有義方 owned a very effective exciting medicine
教五子 All his five son took it
名俱揚 and their sexual ability were well-kown.

養不教 If your children don't know how to do it,
父之過 It is all your fault.
教不嚴 If they had lots of problems with it,
師之惰 their teach must be too lazy to tell them details on sex.

子不學 You may refuse to study this
非所宜 but that is a real mistake
幼不學 If you don't learn it in childhood,
老何為 you will lose your ability when aged

玉不琢 If you don't exercise your dick,
不成器 It won't become hard and strong.
人不學 If you don't learn sex,
不知義 You can by no means enjoy its sweetness

2. 關於幽默笑話的一片英語作文

Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」

3. 英語作文笑話

Playing Jokes Promotes Communication
As a child, we have many friends, we like to play jokes with our friends, sometimes it can promote communication. Like when we are playing game,may be hitting others by incident, at this moment, the way we deal with it is very important. A joke can fix it, it makes us laugh and notice we do this not on purpose. Making jokes reconcile argument.

4. 簡單的英語小笑話(帶翻譯）

1、Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：這個座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。  

2、Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？ 女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。 

3、My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!  Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 

我的狗不識字。布朗夫人：哦， 親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！ 布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。」

4、My Wife Will Exchange Them。A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.   ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.  ″Makes no difference ″replied customer.   ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.  ″Any″ he responded. 

″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″ 

反正我太太明天會來換的。一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。 「您是要布的還是皮的？」售貨員問。 「沒什麼區別。」這位顧客回答。 「那您要什麼顏色的呢？」售貨員又問。「什麼顏色都成。」他回答。 「號碼呢？」 「您就隨便給我拿一副吧，」這位顧客有點不耐煩了，「反正我太太明天都會來換的。」 

5、A  physics Examination，Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.  The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?   

Nick『s answer: Because  our eyes are before ears.   

一次物理考試。在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。這個問題是：為什麼在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電後聽到雷聲？尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在後。  

6、Jim』s History Examination。Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him  things that happened before the poor boy was born.   

吉姆的歷史考試。舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎麼樣？母親：唉，糟透了。可話又說回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。 

7、he is really somebody。-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.   

他真是一個大人物。-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。-- 他真是一個大人物。干什麼的？-- 墓地守墓人。

(4)你有沒有玩過別人的笑話英語寫作擴展閱讀：

笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。其趣味有高下之分。

人類歷史上，人自從有了語言，就已經出現了開玩笑的語言，最早，人們以口相傳，後來有了文字，許多笑話便被記載下來，編書成冊。但還有很多笑話，是流傳於民間的，就當今社會，每天都有很多笑話出現，有心人如果收集，我想將來一定會有價值。

同時豐富了笑話的寶庫。隨著近十年網路和手機的飛速發展，隨之出現了網路笑話，網路流行語，給力大全，手機笑話，雷人語句，笑料聯盟等，促使笑話發展到一個新的階段。

5. 求幾篇80個單詞左右的英語短文/小故事/幽默笑話

請參考：
「To bell the cat」 means to do something dangers, something that might end in disaster災難.
The expression comes from an old story. A family of mice老鼠 could not leave the hole to get food because of its fear of a cat. The mice decided to tie a bell around the cat's neck頸. The bell would ring as the cat moved. So the mice would always know where the cat was. All agreed it was a wonderful plan. That is until one wise old mouse asked, 「Who will bell the cat?」
Bell the cat，給貓繫上鈴鐺，這當然是沒什麼難的，但如果聯想一個古老的寓言里，「給貓繫上鈴鐺」還是一件很冒險的事情呢！故事的發生是這樣的：一窩老鼠因為怕貓，結果餓的要命。於是它們認為最好的辦法是在貓的脖子上系一個鈴鐺。這樣，鈴鐺一響，它們就知道貓來了。大家都覺得那是個好主意，但是有一隻老的、比較聰明的老鼠問，「誰去給貓繫上鈴鐺呢？」。當然「老鼠給貓系鈴鐺」是奢談，但如果真的有個老鼠敢為貓繫上鈴鐺，那它也算是「為救眾多的老鼠」而「奮不顧身」了，不過最終也是得到死無葬身之地的結果。不知道現在的社會中是不是：It's very diffcult to get a man who will bell the cat. 很難找到危險時刻能夠挺身而出的人。
所以bell the cat就表示「為眾人承擔風險、替別人冒險」的意思。

還有參考的：
「to be somebody's cat's paw.」成為某人的貓爪，被某人利用 It means to be fooled in to doing someone else's dirty work. It comes from an old story about a monkey. He wants some nuts heating on a fire. The monkey tries to steal the nuts. But he burns his fingers. So, he seizes the foot or paw of a cat and he uses that to pull the nuts out of the fire.

「Fat Cat」 describes someone who is rich. You often hear it ring political campaigns政治競選. Some fat cats give lots of money to politicians they hoped will be elected將被選舉上. American jazz musicians have used the word 「cat」 to mean a man.

A sharp cat is a man who is dressed in the latest fashionable clothing. The great American horn player Louis Armstrong used the expression this way many years ago. Armstrong said, 「I had on a new cowboy hat牛仔帽, a fine black suit, and new shining leather shoes皮鞋. I was a sharp cat.」

6. 寫一篇捉弄別人或別人捉弄你的笑話。講一講先發生了什麼，後來怎麼樣了，你意識到了什麼。求英語作文

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著專多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝說屬:"一秒鍾."最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鍾."

7. 英語作文翻譯，不要翻譯器的！

愚人節是個開來別人玩自笑的日子，沒人知道她是怎麼開始的，不過大家都覺得它源於法國。在16世紀的時候，人們在3月25日到4月1日慶祝新年。

在1560年中， 國王查理斯九世把日期改成3月25日到1月1日， 但是還是有些人一直慶祝到4月1日為止，所以別人就叫它們「四月的笨蛋」。每個國家慶祝愚人節的方式是不同的。

在法國，人們管四月的笨蛋叫「四月魚」。大家用膠帶把紙魚粘在朋友們的背後來愚弄他們。當他們發現之後，大家就會沖她們喊「四月魚！」在英格蘭，人們只在早上開玩笑。如果別人愚弄你，那麼你便是個傻瓜。

在蘇格蘭，愚人節長達48小時。他們把四月的笨蛋叫做「四月杜鵑鳥」，它還有另一個名字叫布穀鳥。

在美國，人們會在四月的第一天對朋友和他人開些小玩笑。他們可能會指著你的鞋說：「你鞋帶開了。」如果你相信他們低頭去看的話，你就變成「四月的笨蛋」了。

8. 一篇英語作文，一篇笑話

The Spring Festival is the most important festival in China.People usually decorate the doors and windows with red papercuts.becouse red means good luck.People usually clean house too.becouse they want to sweep away bad luck.Children can get some new clothes or presents from their parents and grandparents.
On New Year's Eve,family always have a big dinner.Everybody are watch TV and talk.In the midnight,there usually fairworks.
On New Year's Day,people usually put on their new clothes and visit their femily and friends.They usually say:"Happy New Year's Day."
The Spring Festival finishes at the Lantern Festival after two weeks.People usually eat a kind of rice mpling called yuanxiao.It can take people good luck all the year round.
笑話；
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conctor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

我沒有睡著

當一群婦女上車之後，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：「先生，醒醒！」

「我沒有睡著。」那個男人回答。

「沒睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？」

「我知道，我只是不願意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。」