Are you really in love? 
How do you know the difference between love and infatuation? This is often difficult to determine, for when it comes to judging the difference between love and infatuation, no set rules exist. Romantic love is very much a part of the American way of life and many expect that some day “it” is going to hit them and they will know they are in love.
What are some of the differences between love and infatuation? True love is more likely to include a process of “growing” in love rather than “falling” in love. This may sound terribly unromantic to some who are used to hearing talk about “falling in love” or being “crazy in love”. This “falling” is often infatuation, and the splendid feeling of “falling” in love often blinds a person to the fact that the loved one isn’t perfect. We want to think of the loved one as “perfect”, like some sort of god. Real love sees the total person — both the good and the bad. Infatuation, then, is a sudden, emotional sense that one has discovered the “perfect” love. On the other hand, true love realizes the problems the other person has and accepts those problems.
Love leads a person to a feeling of security and trust in the loved one. It usually includes a feeling that both sides are better than before because they are together. “We are able to get through our problems together” is the feeling of love, rather than “please love me because I need you.”
Infatuation often includes feelings of insecurity when the “lovers” are separated; feelings of doubt, uncertainty, and fear of loss often go along with infatuation. “What will I do if I lose him?” and “I wonder if she really means it when she says she loves me” express the feelings of infatuation. In such a situation, a love that will last forever does not have a chance to develop.
With infatuation, people tend to want to control the other person because a lasting feeling of relationship probably has not developed, so that each person is still thinking mainly about his or her own needs and satisfaction. On the other hand, in true love, one is devoted to making the other person happy, so that concern for the other person develops naturally.
A belief that the other person is beautiful is an important part of both infatuation and love, but a surface attraction is less important in true love. The couple in true love will usually build their relationship on a broader base than just being drawn to a pretty face.
Although true love is an ideal toward which a couple climbs, you do not have to be perfect to love. True love involves a measure of belief in yourself and a degree of self-respect so that one may accept, respect, and trust another person, but it does not require unachievable levels of these qualities.
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Love or Infatuation? 课文讲解
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